To Each His Own

There are certain subjects that I tend to avoid here on my blog, due to the fact that I do not wish to alienate anyone who reads it. But, due to certain events, I really think I need to address one of them right now. However, unlike my ignorant counterparts who have ignited this aggrevation within me, I will address the subject without being derogatory towards anyone, but merely to express my point of view and justify why it is so. Therefore, I do hope no one takes offense to what I am about to address, for you must know that I am not condemning those who do not agree with me, I'm simply defending myself.

So you must be asking, what is this ever-forbidden subject? Well here it is:
RELIGION!
Dun dun dunnnnnnnn...

For those of you reading my blog who don't personally know me and therefore are not aware of my notorious religious views, I am, indeed, an Atheist.

"OH MY GOD DID SHE JUST SAY THE 'A' WORD?!"

Just for the sake of the following post, allow me to give you the exact definition of an Atheist:
a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.

Let's take a side note here, shall we? NO WHERE in that definition does it say ANY of the following:
A person who burns crosses in his or her spare time, a person who hates all aspects of life, a person who despises all religious people, a person who will burst into flames if stepping into a church, a person who knows nothing about the bible or any aspect of religion, or a person who is completely antisocial and will one day turn into a crazed serial killer.

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a hermit who lives in my dark room sinisterly lit by candles, carving "THERE IS NO GOD" onto my walls with a knife, while plotting my attack on the closest Christian gathering. No, I'm actually a very normal, very functional teenage girl who is just about as generic in behavior as our perceived population. The only difference is, I don't believe in God. Yet to SOME people, this difference makes me some other-worldly creature, one that isn't understood and one that is judged very quickly. And frankly, it's starting to piss me off.
Being an Atheist, you can imagine that I usually have to keep my opinions to myself, I take quite a bit of questioning and arguements from overly-religious close minded people, and I honestly have to have quite a great deal of self-control to stop myself from snapping and going off on a rant whenever I hear some delusional Catholic rambling on and on about how God will save us all. (Let me point out I'm most certainly not calling all religious people close-minded or delusional. I'm just saying that there are some like that, just as there are some hermit-like homicidal Atheists, while I am not one of them.) But there are certain little things here and there that just really push my buttons, and one of those little things happened today.
Like you do when you're a bored 16 year old girl, I was on Facebook filling out a survey for a note. The girl who took it before me, who is a notorious republican and Christian, neither being a particularly favorable quality in my eyes, answered one question as follows:

What makes you angry?
Atheism. Why do people have to be so efffing stupid?

I'm sorry, but...what the fuck. Is that really necessary? Is it really necessary for you to condemn MY beliefs and the beliefs of thousands of others just because you don't agree with them? It's not even that she said that the actual theory of Atheism upsets her, which I would be perfectly fine with considering that the theory of Catholicism and Christianity and Islam and Judaism and so on all upset me for I believe religion to be nothing more than an organized business to scare people into giving up their money and keeping their minds shut. But no, this girl calls the actual PEOPLE stupid. According to her, my intelligence level is greatly inferior to all others based purely on the fact that I'm an Atheist. Well honey, not to be rude, but not only is that one of the dumbest theories I've ever heard, but I could be a fucking Scientologist and still have a higher IQ than you.
I never speak ill about Christians or Catholics or Muslims or whoever, because they are PEOPLE, and who they are, how they act, and what the will contribute to the world is not defined by what deities they believe in. It's the ideas that irk me; the idea that some supernatural being just created this entire planet and everything in it. We don't understand half of what goes on in life or why it goes on, so how ignorant does it seem for us to assume that we even know how the very objects we DON'T understand got here in the first place?!
Don't get me wrong, there are indeed some ignorant Atheists. They're the ones you hear saying "Christians are stupid" "Priests are perverts" "If you believe in God then you're dumb." I'm not one of those and I will never be one of those. That's why it upsets me so when the religious equivalent to these people, the ones like this girl I know calling Atheists stupid, do this to me. I don't condemn you for what you believe, so why do I deserve it? Because I'm different? Because I don't conform? Because I challenge the common belief? I'm sorry for having my own thoughts, but this is where they have lead me and I'm quite happy with what I believe and what I don't believe. I don't feel an emptiness inside because I haven't "found God." In the words of Forrest Gump, "I didn't know I was s'posed to be lookin' for him sir." So why, WHY, do you INSIST on thrusting your views upon me? What makes you so confident that you're right? The Bible? Well, believe it or not, I have indeed read the Bible (because, you know, I like to do this thing where I make informative decisions) and reading "And then God said let there be light, and it was so" really just doesn't push me into the believer section. I have a very scientific mind, and I require a tad more evidence than "and it was so."
Now I have many religious friends. I'd say that the majority of my friends are religious. Yet, we're still friends. How is this so? An Atheist and a Christian living in peace? Well it's because my friends and I, we possess this amazing thing called "tolerance" and perhaps if everyone gave this a shot, I wouldn't hate religion as much as I do.
Take for example my friend Kylee; Kylee's religious. She believes in God, heaven, the whole deal. Kylee's also one of my best friends. Kylee and I are a perfect example of toleration. She listens to my views, she accepts them and does not condemn them, for they are my personal views and she knows that in my believing of them, I am in no way saying that she is stupid for what she believes, and vice versa. Kylee wears religious bracelets, crosses for necklaces, her father's service that I went to was very religious, and not for one moment am I ever bothered. Those are her beliefs and she is entitled to them, and I know that by believing in God she is not condemning me whatsoever. I don't take it personally, and that's what I think is a major issue. People take things way too seriously, things that aren't even directed towards them. Religion is an idea, not WHO YOU ARE. By saying "I don't agree with Christianity" I am NOT saying "YOU OVER THERE, THE ONE WEARING THE JESUS BRACELET! I DON'T LIKE YOU!" That's what I don't think people understand.

So ignorant survey-filling-out girl, you know who you are and I do hope you read this. Perhaps it will enlighten you. Perhaps it'll just increase your disdain for Atheists. Whatever the case may be, I guess I'd just like to thank you, for if it weren't for mindless people such as yourself, I may have never had so much evidence to convince me to be an Atheist, and then I'd be just like you...

So thanks for saving me from that dreadful fate ;)

Give me a kiss to build a dream on~

Boys Boys Boys.
They tease you, they please you, they make you cry, they make you laugh, they make you feel special, they make you feel like shit, they like you, they like her, they can never seem to make it simple for us.

What are we going to do with them?

Honestly, there's not much we can do. By years and years of observation and study of interaction between the opposite sex, it has been concluded that females are completely inept at figuring out males, and males are INCREDIBLY inept at figuring out females. So really, what's the point of the never-ending chase? What's the point of the hassle, the heartache, the pain, the roller coaster of emotions?

We're hormonal teenage girls and they're hot, that's the goddamn point.

Despite their flaws, their slip-ups, their ceaseless list of mistakes and fumbles, we oversee these dastardly qualities and still INSIST on coveting them! After all, to err is human, to forgive is divine, right? Uhh, yeah, sure, if you want to put our foolish lovesick idiocy into optimistic terms...
But there must be SOMETHING about each and every one of these boys that keeps us begging for more, right? Something deep inside that gives us the will and the strength to take lashing after lashing of their emotional abuse and throw it aside as if it were a meaningless piece of paper that floated onto our shoulder in the wind. Well, it's either that, or we're all completely mad...
No, no, there definitely is something. But what? What exactly is it?
"Well Charlotte, maybe we should examine some examples from your own life to deduce this answer."
Ah yes, quite.

For the purpose of this study, I would like to exemplify three specific gentlemen, who shall henceforth be referred to as Boy A, Boy B, and Boy C.
How original, you're thinking.
Yeah well no one asked you.

Boy A is one who has been in the picture for years. He is a charismatic fellow with a sparkling personality, capable of making a joke out of any situation, able to bring a smile to one's face whenever one is down, and a constant issuer of compliments and little "sweet nothings" if you will. What seems to be the problem here, might you ask? Well let's see...
His true personality only comes out in one-on-one situations, in all circumstances involving other people he treats you as if you are invisible, when forced to recognize your existence he treats you horribly and mocks you constantly, he leads you on for days and days and then drops you for months at a time as if you never knew each other, and frequently causes you to profess your feelings for him only to tell you that he likes another girl more.
Yeah, he's a REAL winner.
Now let's look at Boy B:
Boy B is a shy and timid creature. He's very polite and dreadfully cute. He'll always greet you in front of his friends, he'll smile at you and make you feel like you mean the world to him, he makes each moment special, and is an all-around gentleman.
Problem time!
Due to his incredibly timid nature he also never makes a move. He'll find it inappropriate to kiss you, even too far to simply give you a hug where people can see. Although he looks innocent, he's an experienced flirt who you'll be head-over-heels for one second, only to find he went and asked out some completely different girl the next.
And lastly, Boy C.
Boy C is a newcomer to this competition with not nearly as much history as Boys A and B. He is shy at first, yet with some time and patience, was prodded out of his comfort zone of merely discussing school to having discussions about other things as well to further the relationship. He's incredibly smart, doesn't ignore you in front of his friends, and is an all around genuinely good guy.
**Author's note: no cons are to be listed about Boy C for, due to his naivety to this situation, there are so far no cons to be found about him. But, based on common knowledge and experience, I'm sure we can all agree that there definitely are some lurking beneath that seemingly perfect exterior.

So why do I go back to Boy A? Why have I, for the past 3 years, let him play me constantly, leading me knowingly up and down a path I know too well, when I am completely familiar with the outcome? Why do I put up with his vile treatment when he texts me and acts as if everything is fine?
And why do I even find myself once again considering Boy B, who surprise attacked me with his random girlfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me once he broke up with her for a reason that was still never revealed to me? Why do I feel that with a simple apology over facebook, that he is forgiven of all sin and now a contender whose sweet remarks and cute smiles are now worthy of giving me butterflies?
And WHY, most of all, don't I just focus on Boy C? Why don't I just drop the other two jackasses and stay with the guy who things are quite obviously working with and develop a, what I'm sure would be, great relationship with him?!

I know it is expected of me to give some insightful "solve all" answer right about now...but to be quite frank, I have absolutely no idea. And I don't think I ever will. I could talk about how I will stand up for myself and not let them twirl me around like some toy found under the Christmas tree, but it would be a complete lie. These boys have and will play me, and I really doubt there's anything in my power that could stop it.

But I will leave you with this...
Perhaps, ladies --just perhaps-- these boys who we deem stupid and ignorant; the ones we claim can't figure us out, or love for that matter; the ones who we say are inept at all relationships and the processing of...

perhaps they've got it a little more figured out than we give them credit for.

The Great Gatsby Children's Story

A while ago in AP English we had to take a portion of a children's story and transform it into a Fitzgerald-style and Gatsby-themed passage. I just got mine back today, and Mrs. Garafolo said it was amazing and one of the best in the class, so I figured I'd post it on here, because to be frank, I'm pretty damn proud of it. :)

Children's Story- The English Roses by Madonna
"It all sounds so perfectly fun and nice And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem. They were all a little bit jealous of another girl in the neighborhood. Her name was Binah, and here are some things you should know about her: She was very, very beautiful. She had long, silky hair and skin like milk and honey. She was an excellent student and very good at sports. She was always kind to people. She was special. But she was sad. Because even though she was the most beautiful girl anyone had ever seen, she was also very lonely. She had no friends, and everywhere she went, she was alone."

Gatsby-ified-
It all sounds so perfectly fun and and nice, what with the glamorous parties every other night, the expensive hauteur draped over every delicate hand and broad shoulder, the fogged windows of the gleaming automobiles concealing a smoky atmosphere filled with polite banter and classy liqueurs. The East Egg was known as the pinnacle of New York high society. And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem, or at least it seemed that way to me, perhaps not to the socialites who seemed to surround me no matter which alleyway I plunged down or which street I traversed. Every person, no matter how insignificant, seemed to be fascinated with, and in my opinion sometimes a tad jealous of, this fellow who lived in the most ornate and gaudy mansion ever to grace the West Egg neighborhood. His name was Gatsby, and here is the general overview of his character: he was a strapping young man with refined good looks. He was an acclaimed student of Oxford, where he played the prestigious sport of cricket, and quite well, I might add. He was a generous fellow, throwing extravagant parties for all those in the vicinity. Gatsby was special, yet he was sad. Despite his extraordinary wealth and high standings, his impressive background and pleasant nature, Gatsby was lonely. For although over the years he had acquired many acquaintances from his numerous parties, and it was indisputable that more people knew of him rather than vice versa, Gatsby genuinely had no real friends. He was left to wander through life alone, painfully scarred by the loss of his one true love, and constantly reminded of it as he gazed out across his dock towards the green light that glowed tauntingly outside the house of Daisy Buchanan.

So today...

...after 7th hour, I was waiting for Lily to finish up in Mr. Ackert's room. Being that I was in the English class hallway, I decided to go see Mrs. Garafolo to check on my grade. So I peak in the window, see no one, open the door, look to the left, and what do I see? I see Mrs. G bouncing around in her rolling chair, wagging her fingers with a huge smile on her face, while blasting "What Now My Love" by Aretha Franklin and Frank Sinatra. I immediately just collapsed in laughter and so did she, and then we proceeded to discuss how much we love Sinatra, how we always blast old music and pretend we're in the 20's, and how after the AP English exam, our class should have a 20's themed dance.
Then, after that fabulous little event, I was walking with Lily to our lockers, and I run in to Mr. Williams. We then proceed to walk and talk about his troubles with his Rubik's cube, including multiple instances in which I made fun of him and he retaliated back.

I know this is an incredibley sporadic blog post with no apparent purpose in regards to anything, but really, all I wanted to say was that it's instances like these, where you realize that your English teacher is as much of a geek as you are and that you can banter back and forth with your old History teacher as if he were one of your friends, that make you realize that life, school, and everything else really isn't as serious as it seems to be. :)