Today I had quite a life-changing revelation: life, as it stands right now, is incredibly boring. And not only that, but the plans for the future aren't the least bit more exciting.
Allow me to elaborate.
Today at around 11:10 am, I entered my AP English class, as I normally do. However, instead of having class today, one of Mrs. Garafolo's former students, Jamel, was there to talk about what he had done since graduating high school last year. He began to speak about the freedom you have when you aren't controlled by the daily routines of school and the schoolwork that comes from it. He took a year off and went backpacking all over Europe, basically surviving by camping and on about 5 or 6 bucks a day, and then ended up in Ethiopia helping a children's home for kids who were completely abandoned. He said he doesn't even have a phone, because to him, that's baggage tying him down. All of this is what really made me think. All this time, I've been convinced I want to stay in high school, and then when I have to leave, I want to go directly to college. All the routines and work and deadlines...none of it is me. Honestly, if I knew I could attain a job paying just as well as it would be if I had gone to college, I wouldn't go. I have no desire to continue schooling beyond the factors of "I need to provide for myself in the future" and "My parents want me to." I'm only going because I have to, and that's it. It's the reason I've really never been excited about any college, because truthfully, deep down in my gut no matter how much I do love a college, I know it's really not where I want to be. And the majors? Forget that. I love to write, no doubt about that, but I don't want to be the busy journalist wearing suits and working in a bustling office, constantly on the phone and computer, struggling to meet deadlines. Why would I ever want to create that much stress and pressure for myself? I'm the laziest person alive! But, I know I have to, because it's the only decent job you can get where you can write that will solidly provide for you. I mean, Jamel talked about how he just wrote a huge story about what happened to him as he traveled, and his thoughts about it. That just SCREAMS Charlotte. That would be heaven on earth for me. Yet, can I do that? No, because that's not society's norm, and it's certainly not my parent's norm.
So basically, what am I saying? I'm saying I'm bored. I'm bored of getting up at the same time every day, going to the same classes, seeing the same people, doing the same things after school. I mean sure, there are people I love and want to keep in my life forever, but I'm talking about the general public, or maybe just the way certain people are friends with me, if that makes any sense at all. It's just always the same. And I'm tired of worrying about scholarships and SATS and ACTS and passing classes and getting accepted to UM and everything. I don't understand why I should set my life up for the same boring routine of school and work, when there's an entire world to explore so huge that it's completely unfathomable to someone such as myself who is stuck in these monotonous ways in the straight-path town. One thing that Jamel said that really stuck with me was "People say they're going to do a lot of things, yet they don't for one reason or another. Really, the only person holding you back is yourself." He's completely right, and I refuse to hold myself back. I deserve more than this. I need more than this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment