There are certain subjects that I tend to avoid here on my blog, due to the fact that I do not wish to alienate anyone who reads it. But, due to certain events, I really think I need to address one of them right now. However, unlike my ignorant counterparts who have ignited this aggrevation within me, I will address the subject without being derogatory towards anyone, but merely to express my point of view and justify why it is so. Therefore, I do hope no one takes offense to what I am about to address, for you must know that I am not condemning those who do not agree with me, I'm simply defending myself.
So you must be asking, what is this ever-forbidden subject? Well here it is:
RELIGION!
Dun dun dunnnnnnnn...
For those of you reading my blog who don't personally know me and therefore are not aware of my notorious religious views, I am, indeed, an Atheist.
"OH MY GOD DID SHE JUST SAY THE 'A' WORD?!"
Just for the sake of the following post, allow me to give you the exact definition of an Atheist:
a person who denies or disbelieves the existence of a supreme being or beings.
Let's take a side note here, shall we? NO WHERE in that definition does it say ANY of the following:
A person who burns crosses in his or her spare time, a person who hates all aspects of life, a person who despises all religious people, a person who will burst into flames if stepping into a church, a person who knows nothing about the bible or any aspect of religion, or a person who is completely antisocial and will one day turn into a crazed serial killer.
Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a hermit who lives in my dark room sinisterly lit by candles, carving "THERE IS NO GOD" onto my walls with a knife, while plotting my attack on the closest Christian gathering. No, I'm actually a very normal, very functional teenage girl who is just about as generic in behavior as our perceived population. The only difference is, I don't believe in God. Yet to SOME people, this difference makes me some other-worldly creature, one that isn't understood and one that is judged very quickly. And frankly, it's starting to piss me off.
Being an Atheist, you can imagine that I usually have to keep my opinions to myself, I take quite a bit of questioning and arguements from overly-religious close minded people, and I honestly have to have quite a great deal of self-control to stop myself from snapping and going off on a rant whenever I hear some delusional Catholic rambling on and on about how God will save us all. (Let me point out I'm most certainly not calling all religious people close-minded or delusional. I'm just saying that there are some like that, just as there are some hermit-like homicidal Atheists, while I am not one of them.) But there are certain little things here and there that just really push my buttons, and one of those little things happened today.
Like you do when you're a bored 16 year old girl, I was on Facebook filling out a survey for a note. The girl who took it before me, who is a notorious republican and Christian, neither being a particularly favorable quality in my eyes, answered one question as follows:
What makes you angry?
Atheism. Why do people have to be so efffing stupid?
I'm sorry, but...what the fuck. Is that really necessary? Is it really necessary for you to condemn MY beliefs and the beliefs of thousands of others just because you don't agree with them? It's not even that she said that the actual theory of Atheism upsets her, which I would be perfectly fine with considering that the theory of Catholicism and Christianity and Islam and Judaism and so on all upset me for I believe religion to be nothing more than an organized business to scare people into giving up their money and keeping their minds shut. But no, this girl calls the actual PEOPLE stupid. According to her, my intelligence level is greatly inferior to all others based purely on the fact that I'm an Atheist. Well honey, not to be rude, but not only is that one of the dumbest theories I've ever heard, but I could be a fucking Scientologist and still have a higher IQ than you.
I never speak ill about Christians or Catholics or Muslims or whoever, because they are PEOPLE, and who they are, how they act, and what the will contribute to the world is not defined by what deities they believe in. It's the ideas that irk me; the idea that some supernatural being just created this entire planet and everything in it. We don't understand half of what goes on in life or why it goes on, so how ignorant does it seem for us to assume that we even know how the very objects we DON'T understand got here in the first place?!
Don't get me wrong, there are indeed some ignorant Atheists. They're the ones you hear saying "Christians are stupid" "Priests are perverts" "If you believe in God then you're dumb." I'm not one of those and I will never be one of those. That's why it upsets me so when the religious equivalent to these people, the ones like this girl I know calling Atheists stupid, do this to me. I don't condemn you for what you believe, so why do I deserve it? Because I'm different? Because I don't conform? Because I challenge the common belief? I'm sorry for having my own thoughts, but this is where they have lead me and I'm quite happy with what I believe and what I don't believe. I don't feel an emptiness inside because I haven't "found God." In the words of Forrest Gump, "I didn't know I was s'posed to be lookin' for him sir." So why, WHY, do you INSIST on thrusting your views upon me? What makes you so confident that you're right? The Bible? Well, believe it or not, I have indeed read the Bible (because, you know, I like to do this thing where I make informative decisions) and reading "And then God said let there be light, and it was so" really just doesn't push me into the believer section. I have a very scientific mind, and I require a tad more evidence than "and it was so."
Now I have many religious friends. I'd say that the majority of my friends are religious. Yet, we're still friends. How is this so? An Atheist and a Christian living in peace? Well it's because my friends and I, we possess this amazing thing called "tolerance" and perhaps if everyone gave this a shot, I wouldn't hate religion as much as I do.
Take for example my friend Kylee; Kylee's religious. She believes in God, heaven, the whole deal. Kylee's also one of my best friends. Kylee and I are a perfect example of toleration. She listens to my views, she accepts them and does not condemn them, for they are my personal views and she knows that in my believing of them, I am in no way saying that she is stupid for what she believes, and vice versa. Kylee wears religious bracelets, crosses for necklaces, her father's service that I went to was very religious, and not for one moment am I ever bothered. Those are her beliefs and she is entitled to them, and I know that by believing in God she is not condemning me whatsoever. I don't take it personally, and that's what I think is a major issue. People take things way too seriously, things that aren't even directed towards them. Religion is an idea, not WHO YOU ARE. By saying "I don't agree with Christianity" I am NOT saying "YOU OVER THERE, THE ONE WEARING THE JESUS BRACELET! I DON'T LIKE YOU!" That's what I don't think people understand.
So ignorant survey-filling-out girl, you know who you are and I do hope you read this. Perhaps it will enlighten you. Perhaps it'll just increase your disdain for Atheists. Whatever the case may be, I guess I'd just like to thank you, for if it weren't for mindless people such as yourself, I may have never had so much evidence to convince me to be an Atheist, and then I'd be just like you...
So thanks for saving me from that dreadful fate ;)
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Give me a kiss to build a dream on~
Boys Boys Boys.
They tease you, they please you, they make you cry, they make you laugh, they make you feel special, they make you feel like shit, they like you, they like her, they can never seem to make it simple for us.
What are we going to do with them?
Honestly, there's not much we can do. By years and years of observation and study of interaction between the opposite sex, it has been concluded that females are completely inept at figuring out males, and males are INCREDIBLY inept at figuring out females. So really, what's the point of the never-ending chase? What's the point of the hassle, the heartache, the pain, the roller coaster of emotions?
We're hormonal teenage girls and they're hot, that's the goddamn point.
Despite their flaws, their slip-ups, their ceaseless list of mistakes and fumbles, we oversee these dastardly qualities and still INSIST on coveting them! After all, to err is human, to forgive is divine, right? Uhh, yeah, sure, if you want to put our foolish lovesick idiocy into optimistic terms...
But there must be SOMETHING about each and every one of these boys that keeps us begging for more, right? Something deep inside that gives us the will and the strength to take lashing after lashing of their emotional abuse and throw it aside as if it were a meaningless piece of paper that floated onto our shoulder in the wind. Well, it's either that, or we're all completely mad...
No, no, there definitely is something. But what? What exactly is it?
"Well Charlotte, maybe we should examine some examples from your own life to deduce this answer."
Ah yes, quite.
For the purpose of this study, I would like to exemplify three specific gentlemen, who shall henceforth be referred to as Boy A, Boy B, and Boy C.
How original, you're thinking.
Yeah well no one asked you.
Boy A is one who has been in the picture for years. He is a charismatic fellow with a sparkling personality, capable of making a joke out of any situation, able to bring a smile to one's face whenever one is down, and a constant issuer of compliments and little "sweet nothings" if you will. What seems to be the problem here, might you ask? Well let's see...
His true personality only comes out in one-on-one situations, in all circumstances involving other people he treats you as if you are invisible, when forced to recognize your existence he treats you horribly and mocks you constantly, he leads you on for days and days and then drops you for months at a time as if you never knew each other, and frequently causes you to profess your feelings for him only to tell you that he likes another girl more.
Yeah, he's a REAL winner.
Now let's look at Boy B:
Boy B is a shy and timid creature. He's very polite and dreadfully cute. He'll always greet you in front of his friends, he'll smile at you and make you feel like you mean the world to him, he makes each moment special, and is an all-around gentleman.
Problem time!
Due to his incredibly timid nature he also never makes a move. He'll find it inappropriate to kiss you, even too far to simply give you a hug where people can see. Although he looks innocent, he's an experienced flirt who you'll be head-over-heels for one second, only to find he went and asked out some completely different girl the next.
And lastly, Boy C.
Boy C is a newcomer to this competition with not nearly as much history as Boys A and B. He is shy at first, yet with some time and patience, was prodded out of his comfort zone of merely discussing school to having discussions about other things as well to further the relationship. He's incredibly smart, doesn't ignore you in front of his friends, and is an all around genuinely good guy.
**Author's note: no cons are to be listed about Boy C for, due to his naivety to this situation, there are so far no cons to be found about him. But, based on common knowledge and experience, I'm sure we can all agree that there definitely are some lurking beneath that seemingly perfect exterior.
So why do I go back to Boy A? Why have I, for the past 3 years, let him play me constantly, leading me knowingly up and down a path I know too well, when I am completely familiar with the outcome? Why do I put up with his vile treatment when he texts me and acts as if everything is fine?
And why do I even find myself once again considering Boy B, who surprise attacked me with his random girlfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me once he broke up with her for a reason that was still never revealed to me? Why do I feel that with a simple apology over facebook, that he is forgiven of all sin and now a contender whose sweet remarks and cute smiles are now worthy of giving me butterflies?
And WHY, most of all, don't I just focus on Boy C? Why don't I just drop the other two jackasses and stay with the guy who things are quite obviously working with and develop a, what I'm sure would be, great relationship with him?!
I know it is expected of me to give some insightful "solve all" answer right about now...but to be quite frank, I have absolutely no idea. And I don't think I ever will. I could talk about how I will stand up for myself and not let them twirl me around like some toy found under the Christmas tree, but it would be a complete lie. These boys have and will play me, and I really doubt there's anything in my power that could stop it.
But I will leave you with this...
Perhaps, ladies --just perhaps-- these boys who we deem stupid and ignorant; the ones we claim can't figure us out, or love for that matter; the ones who we say are inept at all relationships and the processing of...
perhaps they've got it a little more figured out than we give them credit for.
They tease you, they please you, they make you cry, they make you laugh, they make you feel special, they make you feel like shit, they like you, they like her, they can never seem to make it simple for us.
What are we going to do with them?
Honestly, there's not much we can do. By years and years of observation and study of interaction between the opposite sex, it has been concluded that females are completely inept at figuring out males, and males are INCREDIBLY inept at figuring out females. So really, what's the point of the never-ending chase? What's the point of the hassle, the heartache, the pain, the roller coaster of emotions?
We're hormonal teenage girls and they're hot, that's the goddamn point.
Despite their flaws, their slip-ups, their ceaseless list of mistakes and fumbles, we oversee these dastardly qualities and still INSIST on coveting them! After all, to err is human, to forgive is divine, right? Uhh, yeah, sure, if you want to put our foolish lovesick idiocy into optimistic terms...
But there must be SOMETHING about each and every one of these boys that keeps us begging for more, right? Something deep inside that gives us the will and the strength to take lashing after lashing of their emotional abuse and throw it aside as if it were a meaningless piece of paper that floated onto our shoulder in the wind. Well, it's either that, or we're all completely mad...
No, no, there definitely is something. But what? What exactly is it?
"Well Charlotte, maybe we should examine some examples from your own life to deduce this answer."
Ah yes, quite.
For the purpose of this study, I would like to exemplify three specific gentlemen, who shall henceforth be referred to as Boy A, Boy B, and Boy C.
How original, you're thinking.
Yeah well no one asked you.
Boy A is one who has been in the picture for years. He is a charismatic fellow with a sparkling personality, capable of making a joke out of any situation, able to bring a smile to one's face whenever one is down, and a constant issuer of compliments and little "sweet nothings" if you will. What seems to be the problem here, might you ask? Well let's see...
His true personality only comes out in one-on-one situations, in all circumstances involving other people he treats you as if you are invisible, when forced to recognize your existence he treats you horribly and mocks you constantly, he leads you on for days and days and then drops you for months at a time as if you never knew each other, and frequently causes you to profess your feelings for him only to tell you that he likes another girl more.
Yeah, he's a REAL winner.
Now let's look at Boy B:
Boy B is a shy and timid creature. He's very polite and dreadfully cute. He'll always greet you in front of his friends, he'll smile at you and make you feel like you mean the world to him, he makes each moment special, and is an all-around gentleman.
Problem time!
Due to his incredibly timid nature he also never makes a move. He'll find it inappropriate to kiss you, even too far to simply give you a hug where people can see. Although he looks innocent, he's an experienced flirt who you'll be head-over-heels for one second, only to find he went and asked out some completely different girl the next.
And lastly, Boy C.
Boy C is a newcomer to this competition with not nearly as much history as Boys A and B. He is shy at first, yet with some time and patience, was prodded out of his comfort zone of merely discussing school to having discussions about other things as well to further the relationship. He's incredibly smart, doesn't ignore you in front of his friends, and is an all around genuinely good guy.
**Author's note: no cons are to be listed about Boy C for, due to his naivety to this situation, there are so far no cons to be found about him. But, based on common knowledge and experience, I'm sure we can all agree that there definitely are some lurking beneath that seemingly perfect exterior.
So why do I go back to Boy A? Why have I, for the past 3 years, let him play me constantly, leading me knowingly up and down a path I know too well, when I am completely familiar with the outcome? Why do I put up with his vile treatment when he texts me and acts as if everything is fine?
And why do I even find myself once again considering Boy B, who surprise attacked me with his random girlfriend, and then proceeded to ignore me once he broke up with her for a reason that was still never revealed to me? Why do I feel that with a simple apology over facebook, that he is forgiven of all sin and now a contender whose sweet remarks and cute smiles are now worthy of giving me butterflies?
And WHY, most of all, don't I just focus on Boy C? Why don't I just drop the other two jackasses and stay with the guy who things are quite obviously working with and develop a, what I'm sure would be, great relationship with him?!
I know it is expected of me to give some insightful "solve all" answer right about now...but to be quite frank, I have absolutely no idea. And I don't think I ever will. I could talk about how I will stand up for myself and not let them twirl me around like some toy found under the Christmas tree, but it would be a complete lie. These boys have and will play me, and I really doubt there's anything in my power that could stop it.
But I will leave you with this...
Perhaps, ladies --just perhaps-- these boys who we deem stupid and ignorant; the ones we claim can't figure us out, or love for that matter; the ones who we say are inept at all relationships and the processing of...
perhaps they've got it a little more figured out than we give them credit for.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
The Great Gatsby Children's Story
A while ago in AP English we had to take a portion of a children's story and transform it into a Fitzgerald-style and Gatsby-themed passage. I just got mine back today, and Mrs. Garafolo said it was amazing and one of the best in the class, so I figured I'd post it on here, because to be frank, I'm pretty damn proud of it. :)
Children's Story- The English Roses by Madonna
"It all sounds so perfectly fun and nice And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem. They were all a little bit jealous of another girl in the neighborhood. Her name was Binah, and here are some things you should know about her: She was very, very beautiful. She had long, silky hair and skin like milk and honey. She was an excellent student and very good at sports. She was always kind to people. She was special. But she was sad. Because even though she was the most beautiful girl anyone had ever seen, she was also very lonely. She had no friends, and everywhere she went, she was alone."
Gatsby-ified-
It all sounds so perfectly fun and and nice, what with the glamorous parties every other night, the expensive hauteur draped over every delicate hand and broad shoulder, the fogged windows of the gleaming automobiles concealing a smoky atmosphere filled with polite banter and classy liqueurs. The East Egg was known as the pinnacle of New York high society. And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem, or at least it seemed that way to me, perhaps not to the socialites who seemed to surround me no matter which alleyway I plunged down or which street I traversed. Every person, no matter how insignificant, seemed to be fascinated with, and in my opinion sometimes a tad jealous of, this fellow who lived in the most ornate and gaudy mansion ever to grace the West Egg neighborhood. His name was Gatsby, and here is the general overview of his character: he was a strapping young man with refined good looks. He was an acclaimed student of Oxford, where he played the prestigious sport of cricket, and quite well, I might add. He was a generous fellow, throwing extravagant parties for all those in the vicinity. Gatsby was special, yet he was sad. Despite his extraordinary wealth and high standings, his impressive background and pleasant nature, Gatsby was lonely. For although over the years he had acquired many acquaintances from his numerous parties, and it was indisputable that more people knew of him rather than vice versa, Gatsby genuinely had no real friends. He was left to wander through life alone, painfully scarred by the loss of his one true love, and constantly reminded of it as he gazed out across his dock towards the green light that glowed tauntingly outside the house of Daisy Buchanan.
Children's Story- The English Roses by Madonna
"It all sounds so perfectly fun and nice And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem. They were all a little bit jealous of another girl in the neighborhood. Her name was Binah, and here are some things you should know about her: She was very, very beautiful. She had long, silky hair and skin like milk and honey. She was an excellent student and very good at sports. She was always kind to people. She was special. But she was sad. Because even though she was the most beautiful girl anyone had ever seen, she was also very lonely. She had no friends, and everywhere she went, she was alone."
Gatsby-ified-
It all sounds so perfectly fun and and nice, what with the glamorous parties every other night, the expensive hauteur draped over every delicate hand and broad shoulder, the fogged windows of the gleaming automobiles concealing a smoky atmosphere filled with polite banter and classy liqueurs. The East Egg was known as the pinnacle of New York high society. And in many ways, it was. But there was only one problem, or at least it seemed that way to me, perhaps not to the socialites who seemed to surround me no matter which alleyway I plunged down or which street I traversed. Every person, no matter how insignificant, seemed to be fascinated with, and in my opinion sometimes a tad jealous of, this fellow who lived in the most ornate and gaudy mansion ever to grace the West Egg neighborhood. His name was Gatsby, and here is the general overview of his character: he was a strapping young man with refined good looks. He was an acclaimed student of Oxford, where he played the prestigious sport of cricket, and quite well, I might add. He was a generous fellow, throwing extravagant parties for all those in the vicinity. Gatsby was special, yet he was sad. Despite his extraordinary wealth and high standings, his impressive background and pleasant nature, Gatsby was lonely. For although over the years he had acquired many acquaintances from his numerous parties, and it was indisputable that more people knew of him rather than vice versa, Gatsby genuinely had no real friends. He was left to wander through life alone, painfully scarred by the loss of his one true love, and constantly reminded of it as he gazed out across his dock towards the green light that glowed tauntingly outside the house of Daisy Buchanan.
Friday, December 11, 2009
So today...
...after 7th hour, I was waiting for Lily to finish up in Mr. Ackert's room. Being that I was in the English class hallway, I decided to go see Mrs. Garafolo to check on my grade. So I peak in the window, see no one, open the door, look to the left, and what do I see? I see Mrs. G bouncing around in her rolling chair, wagging her fingers with a huge smile on her face, while blasting "What Now My Love" by Aretha Franklin and Frank Sinatra. I immediately just collapsed in laughter and so did she, and then we proceeded to discuss how much we love Sinatra, how we always blast old music and pretend we're in the 20's, and how after the AP English exam, our class should have a 20's themed dance.
Then, after that fabulous little event, I was walking with Lily to our lockers, and I run in to Mr. Williams. We then proceed to walk and talk about his troubles with his Rubik's cube, including multiple instances in which I made fun of him and he retaliated back.
I know this is an incredibley sporadic blog post with no apparent purpose in regards to anything, but really, all I wanted to say was that it's instances like these, where you realize that your English teacher is as much of a geek as you are and that you can banter back and forth with your old History teacher as if he were one of your friends, that make you realize that life, school, and everything else really isn't as serious as it seems to be. :)
Then, after that fabulous little event, I was walking with Lily to our lockers, and I run in to Mr. Williams. We then proceed to walk and talk about his troubles with his Rubik's cube, including multiple instances in which I made fun of him and he retaliated back.
I know this is an incredibley sporadic blog post with no apparent purpose in regards to anything, but really, all I wanted to say was that it's instances like these, where you realize that your English teacher is as much of a geek as you are and that you can banter back and forth with your old History teacher as if he were one of your friends, that make you realize that life, school, and everything else really isn't as serious as it seems to be. :)
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Something's Missing.
Sometimes you just have those moments where everything in life that you've been ignoring and all those feelings you've been trying to subdue just come rushing forth at you all in one instance. One second, I'm fine, watching Criminal Minds with my parents, and the next I have this throbbing headache and I'm sobbing hysterically while spilling my guts out to my friend Noah over facebook chat.
I just feel so EMPTY. I feel like there's something in life I have failed to ascertain, and every moment I continue on without it, things just descend down this hill with increasing speed and there's nothing I can do about it. School, my parents, my friends, every aspect of my life is just contributing to this never-ending sense of dread lurking in the pit of my stomach.
I mean don't get me wrong, I do lead a fabulous life. I have great friends, my parents give me virtually whatever I want, I'm getting my license and a car in just a few months, and for the most part, I get whatever I want and need. But there are just those few little things here and there that occur so naturally and easily to people, and I can't really fathom why it isn't that way for me.
I suppose the main thing I'm talking about here is the boyfriend situation. I'm a very independant girl, and I will admit, I do have some commitment issues, but there are times (such as right now) where it would be nice to have a guy to turn to and just know that someone cares about me and thinks I'm special. It would be reassuring. But it seems that when I do, in fact, desire a companion and when I do, in fact, find someone I deem to be suitable for said companionship, I just cannot surpass the platonic level for the life of me. Not to be conceited, but I think I'm a rather pretty girl. I know perfectly well I have flaws, but not to the extent that it makes me unsightly. To be quite honest, I think I intimidate most of them, for I know I don't speak as the general female population at my school does. I do insist on using proper grammar all the time, and complex sentence structure paired with advanced diction is just a part of my daily routine, but I'm a writer, that's what I do and that's how I speak. I cannot and will not change that to appease some immature boy who can't handle how I truly am. But unfortunantely, this is high school, and any male I find myself attracted to is undoubtedly an immature boy.
There's also the college factor. I'm going to be completely honest right now: Do I want to go to college? Absolutely not. There is nothing I dread more than more school, more organization, and more ASSIGNMENTS. And add that with the fact that not only are you competing for every spot you may want, but you have to PAY for it as well? What is the point of this?!
I'll tell you what the point is: My parents and my future. My parents would keel over if I told them I didn't want to go to college, and as for being secure in the future with a well-paying job, you can forget about it without a degree. That's all America runs on now: the motivation for money and to fill the expectations of society around you. Conform now and you'll be safe, yet go outside the box, challenge authority, and we'll personally see to it that you will be deemed as incapable and unworthy by all major corporations. But please, stop me now before I go total Anti-Government "It's A Conspiracy" Hippie on you all.
I know I have to go, and I've accepted it. Yet now I have to face the challenges of how and where. Honestly, I'm starting to doubt whether or not I'll get accepted anywhere. My grades are seriously slipping. Trust me to start screwing up the most important year of my high school career. But even if I do get past that hill, where am I even GOING to apply? For a while now I've been "Miami, Miami, Miami" but now I'm not too sure. The hardcore, intrusive, workaholic Journalist path I was apparently traveling down is soooo NOT ME. But according to everyone else, it's the only thing I can do that involves writing that will guarantee me a secure job.
Woop-dee-fucking-doo.
Does anyone care what I would like? Is anyone concerned with how I would like to live the rest of my life? Because last time I checked guidance counselors and parents, I'm the one who has to live with these decisions your making for me, so why the HELL should I be miserable because you all told me what the right thing to do was mandatory? Would anyone be interested to know in what I would like to do? Because I would absolutely love to go to a small arts school in California somewhere, being able to go shopping in L.A. and relax on the chill beaches all across the coast, majoring in Creative Writing or English Literature, and minoring--or possibly even double majoring--in Vocal Studies, perhaps even Opera. But, that's not practical enough for you guys, right? That doesn't secure me financially, does it? So it's obviously not an option.
Well to be quite frank, I'm sick of what I want to do with my life not being an option. I want to move to Cali. I want to be an author. I want to sing for Operas or be on Broadway. I want to create a whole new life for myself the way I've always dreamed of doing. And if it backfires in my face and I wind up back in my parents house, oh well. I can live with that, because I know I will have done what I thought was best, and not what anyone else thought was right for me.
I just feel so EMPTY. I feel like there's something in life I have failed to ascertain, and every moment I continue on without it, things just descend down this hill with increasing speed and there's nothing I can do about it. School, my parents, my friends, every aspect of my life is just contributing to this never-ending sense of dread lurking in the pit of my stomach.
I mean don't get me wrong, I do lead a fabulous life. I have great friends, my parents give me virtually whatever I want, I'm getting my license and a car in just a few months, and for the most part, I get whatever I want and need. But there are just those few little things here and there that occur so naturally and easily to people, and I can't really fathom why it isn't that way for me.
I suppose the main thing I'm talking about here is the boyfriend situation. I'm a very independant girl, and I will admit, I do have some commitment issues, but there are times (such as right now) where it would be nice to have a guy to turn to and just know that someone cares about me and thinks I'm special. It would be reassuring. But it seems that when I do, in fact, desire a companion and when I do, in fact, find someone I deem to be suitable for said companionship, I just cannot surpass the platonic level for the life of me. Not to be conceited, but I think I'm a rather pretty girl. I know perfectly well I have flaws, but not to the extent that it makes me unsightly. To be quite honest, I think I intimidate most of them, for I know I don't speak as the general female population at my school does. I do insist on using proper grammar all the time, and complex sentence structure paired with advanced diction is just a part of my daily routine, but I'm a writer, that's what I do and that's how I speak. I cannot and will not change that to appease some immature boy who can't handle how I truly am. But unfortunantely, this is high school, and any male I find myself attracted to is undoubtedly an immature boy.
There's also the college factor. I'm going to be completely honest right now: Do I want to go to college? Absolutely not. There is nothing I dread more than more school, more organization, and more ASSIGNMENTS. And add that with the fact that not only are you competing for every spot you may want, but you have to PAY for it as well? What is the point of this?!
I'll tell you what the point is: My parents and my future. My parents would keel over if I told them I didn't want to go to college, and as for being secure in the future with a well-paying job, you can forget about it without a degree. That's all America runs on now: the motivation for money and to fill the expectations of society around you. Conform now and you'll be safe, yet go outside the box, challenge authority, and we'll personally see to it that you will be deemed as incapable and unworthy by all major corporations. But please, stop me now before I go total Anti-Government "It's A Conspiracy" Hippie on you all.
I know I have to go, and I've accepted it. Yet now I have to face the challenges of how and where. Honestly, I'm starting to doubt whether or not I'll get accepted anywhere. My grades are seriously slipping. Trust me to start screwing up the most important year of my high school career. But even if I do get past that hill, where am I even GOING to apply? For a while now I've been "Miami, Miami, Miami" but now I'm not too sure. The hardcore, intrusive, workaholic Journalist path I was apparently traveling down is soooo NOT ME. But according to everyone else, it's the only thing I can do that involves writing that will guarantee me a secure job.
Woop-dee-fucking-doo.
Does anyone care what I would like? Is anyone concerned with how I would like to live the rest of my life? Because last time I checked guidance counselors and parents, I'm the one who has to live with these decisions your making for me, so why the HELL should I be miserable because you all told me what the right thing to do was mandatory? Would anyone be interested to know in what I would like to do? Because I would absolutely love to go to a small arts school in California somewhere, being able to go shopping in L.A. and relax on the chill beaches all across the coast, majoring in Creative Writing or English Literature, and minoring--or possibly even double majoring--in Vocal Studies, perhaps even Opera. But, that's not practical enough for you guys, right? That doesn't secure me financially, does it? So it's obviously not an option.
Well to be quite frank, I'm sick of what I want to do with my life not being an option. I want to move to Cali. I want to be an author. I want to sing for Operas or be on Broadway. I want to create a whole new life for myself the way I've always dreamed of doing. And if it backfires in my face and I wind up back in my parents house, oh well. I can live with that, because I know I will have done what I thought was best, and not what anyone else thought was right for me.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Bitchasaurus strikes again.
Hi I'm Charlotte Brubeck and it's time for another episode of National Geographic: Human Studies Edition.
On today's episode, we're going to be observing the always-unwelcome-in-all-situations creature Bitchasaurus bipolaricus, more commonly known as "Mom."
Now, as has been recorded in previous segments, we all know "Mom" is very well known for her dire mood-swings, random spats of anger, and general tendencies to be a complete bitch. However, today, we have a rather special case for you, for the "Mom" has managed to deliver two extremely hurtful and irrational messages all in the course of one weekend!
First let us observe the Authoricus vocalistica, which we will refer to as "Charlotte." See "Charlotte" use her cellular telephone to come in contact with "Mom." Note Charlotte's sudden discoloration of skin pigment and rapid flow of tears down the cheeks. After further investigation of the matter by our top scientists, it has become known to us that this sudden breakdown was due to Mom's decision to skip out on her daughter's very prestigious choral concert because, quote, "she didn't feel like it." Ouch, there's a low blow by Bitchasaurus!
Over the next few days, we've been recording Charlotte's reaction to this matter. It seems that she has cut off all communication with Mom until she gets an apology, as I'm sure we can all agree she rightly deserves.
It's been two days now. Charlotte's given up her plan and has come to peace with the fact that her parents are indeed selfish morons who will never admit they are wrong. Chin up, Charlotte, we here at National Geographic still care! Oh but what's this? It seems that Mom can't live with the fact of seeing Charlotte once again happy! Hmm, I wonder how this will turn out? Let's go and see, shall we?
Our camera crew is approaching around the corner to the open door of Charlotte's room. It appears that the two species are crouched over the computer in deep discussion. Upon further investigation, it was found that what was being discussed was airfare prices for Charlotte to fly to CT to see one of her peers, Kyleeicus Blairbearica, or as we call her, "Kylee."
Well, we've seen this discussion before, and Mom was all for it. Shouldn't be any sort of a problem we need to---wait, what's this? Did Charlotte's face just drop in astonishment? Is Mom resulting to the "I know this is crushing you but I'm doing it anyway because frankly I really don't care how upset you are" voice? No, it cannot be! Did Mom really just complete trample Charlotte's spirits twice in ONE WEEKEND?!
Well folks, as sad as it is to say, Mom did indeed do the aforementioned atrocity. Her bipolar tendencies and desire to see everyone around her as miserable as she is has kicked in once again, and she has informed Charlotte that she "doubts that she'll be going to CT." Perhaps it's the money? Oh no, she did not hesitate to inform Charlotte that they do have the money for it. Perhaps there are other family plans? Nope, none of those whatsoever! Well what could the reason be my friends? Surely it must be something drastic and necessary to cause this mother to crush her little girl's hopes of seeing one of her best friends again for just a few days! This just in--nope. She's just a complete lazy bitch who really doesn't give a shit about anyone else or how they feel about anything, and if anything is asked of her that requires anything more than a simple yes or no that doesn't require she drag her self-pitying menopausal self out of the house for more than a minute, well then, that's obviously not going to work out.
Thanks for joining us, and be sure to tune in in about 10 to 15 minutes for "What happens when a daughter goes ape-shit crazy on her mother until she's made her mother cry with so many hurtful and insulting comments."
On today's episode, we're going to be observing the always-unwelcome-in-all-situations creature Bitchasaurus bipolaricus, more commonly known as "Mom."
Now, as has been recorded in previous segments, we all know "Mom" is very well known for her dire mood-swings, random spats of anger, and general tendencies to be a complete bitch. However, today, we have a rather special case for you, for the "Mom" has managed to deliver two extremely hurtful and irrational messages all in the course of one weekend!
First let us observe the Authoricus vocalistica, which we will refer to as "Charlotte." See "Charlotte" use her cellular telephone to come in contact with "Mom." Note Charlotte's sudden discoloration of skin pigment and rapid flow of tears down the cheeks. After further investigation of the matter by our top scientists, it has become known to us that this sudden breakdown was due to Mom's decision to skip out on her daughter's very prestigious choral concert because, quote, "she didn't feel like it." Ouch, there's a low blow by Bitchasaurus!
Over the next few days, we've been recording Charlotte's reaction to this matter. It seems that she has cut off all communication with Mom until she gets an apology, as I'm sure we can all agree she rightly deserves.
It's been two days now. Charlotte's given up her plan and has come to peace with the fact that her parents are indeed selfish morons who will never admit they are wrong. Chin up, Charlotte, we here at National Geographic still care! Oh but what's this? It seems that Mom can't live with the fact of seeing Charlotte once again happy! Hmm, I wonder how this will turn out? Let's go and see, shall we?
Our camera crew is approaching around the corner to the open door of Charlotte's room. It appears that the two species are crouched over the computer in deep discussion. Upon further investigation, it was found that what was being discussed was airfare prices for Charlotte to fly to CT to see one of her peers, Kyleeicus Blairbearica, or as we call her, "Kylee."
Well, we've seen this discussion before, and Mom was all for it. Shouldn't be any sort of a problem we need to---wait, what's this? Did Charlotte's face just drop in astonishment? Is Mom resulting to the "I know this is crushing you but I'm doing it anyway because frankly I really don't care how upset you are" voice? No, it cannot be! Did Mom really just complete trample Charlotte's spirits twice in ONE WEEKEND?!
Well folks, as sad as it is to say, Mom did indeed do the aforementioned atrocity. Her bipolar tendencies and desire to see everyone around her as miserable as she is has kicked in once again, and she has informed Charlotte that she "doubts that she'll be going to CT." Perhaps it's the money? Oh no, she did not hesitate to inform Charlotte that they do have the money for it. Perhaps there are other family plans? Nope, none of those whatsoever! Well what could the reason be my friends? Surely it must be something drastic and necessary to cause this mother to crush her little girl's hopes of seeing one of her best friends again for just a few days! This just in--nope. She's just a complete lazy bitch who really doesn't give a shit about anyone else or how they feel about anything, and if anything is asked of her that requires anything more than a simple yes or no that doesn't require she drag her self-pitying menopausal self out of the house for more than a minute, well then, that's obviously not going to work out.
Thanks for joining us, and be sure to tune in in about 10 to 15 minutes for "What happens when a daughter goes ape-shit crazy on her mother until she's made her mother cry with so many hurtful and insulting comments."
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Disappointment
It really sucks when you get yourself so worked up for something, and then it's just completely not what you expected. A promise is made to you, you talk about it for weeks, you have this image in your head of how it's going to be and how perfect everything will go and then...the time comes and what you thought you would have disintegrates at your fingertips. It's especially like this with boys; they don't seem to realize that what they promise us can really make an impact on a girl. And then when they go against it on a whim, while it may not cause them the slightest problem, it leaves us upset and crying and feeling worthless. That's the feeling that kills you when a promise is broken: the fact that you don't matter enough for this to be deeply considered; the fact that if it upsets you when nothing follows through, it does not matter at all. I suppose that's the worst part of all. Not that the promise to you was broken, or that the amazing scene you had created in your head was no where near the reality of the situation, or that how upset you obviously were didn't really phase the other person; but that your importance was robbed of you. When the promise was broken with such ease, it was made apparent how non-important you are.
I guess I'm just not that special to you anymore. I'm not sure if I ever was, because maybe I wasn't, but you made me feel like I was. And that's disappointment I really can't get over.
I guess I'm just not that special to you anymore. I'm not sure if I ever was, because maybe I wasn't, but you made me feel like I was. And that's disappointment I really can't get over.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Grade Paranoia
Today for Veteran's Day, we had school off. Right in the middle of the week! How nice is that? I mean, you're just hitting tuesday, you're really bumming about the rest of the week, and then BAM! Day off. I think they should make a habit of this.
So considering that today is a day off, lots of people are out at the beach, the mall, hanging out with their friends, all that good stuff that we do on the weekend.
Yet what am I doing? I'm doing the immense load of homework my teachers have thrust upon me. How nice.
Mainly it's a project; a Great Gatsby project. And after spending a good hour stalling and complaining, I realized that not only should I not be so upset, but really, I brought it upon myself.
I could have let anyone else in my group take the project home and finish it. Yet if I think about it, would I? No, never in a million years. Why you may ask? Why not let others do the work and give myself a break? Well, because I have Grade Paranoia my friends. In case you are not aware of this, allow me to guide you along the path of enlightenment:
Grade Paranoia is a specific type of paranoia of the school-related persuasion. In short, it means that when it comes to my grades and my school work, I trust no one. I've found myself doing this since elementary school. When there is a project to be done, I assert myself as leader and do the majority of it. Not because I enjoy being an authority figure, oh no, not in the least, I am a very lazy person and the last thing I rarely ever want is to be in control of a situation when others are perfectly capable of doing so and have a greater desire to. No, I take control because it sets me at ease, it makes me more comfortable, to know that my grade is completely under my own control. Unless I am completely convinced that those in my group are far more efficient than I and will do everything perfectly, which I rarely ever am, I will never let someone do the work that could possibly ruin my grade. It's never because I doubt the abilities of the others, it's just that I trust my own abilities more than I trust theirs, and that's not just with quality of work, but with punctuality and so on.
So really, would I be in any better shape if one of my classmates had the project right now? No, in fact I'd probably be panicking, thinking about what could go wrong all day, and calling them every 5 minutes to make sure they haven't forgotten about it and asking them to explain in excruciating detail exactly what they're doing to it.
So considering that today is a day off, lots of people are out at the beach, the mall, hanging out with their friends, all that good stuff that we do on the weekend.
Yet what am I doing? I'm doing the immense load of homework my teachers have thrust upon me. How nice.
Mainly it's a project; a Great Gatsby project. And after spending a good hour stalling and complaining, I realized that not only should I not be so upset, but really, I brought it upon myself.
I could have let anyone else in my group take the project home and finish it. Yet if I think about it, would I? No, never in a million years. Why you may ask? Why not let others do the work and give myself a break? Well, because I have Grade Paranoia my friends. In case you are not aware of this, allow me to guide you along the path of enlightenment:
Grade Paranoia is a specific type of paranoia of the school-related persuasion. In short, it means that when it comes to my grades and my school work, I trust no one. I've found myself doing this since elementary school. When there is a project to be done, I assert myself as leader and do the majority of it. Not because I enjoy being an authority figure, oh no, not in the least, I am a very lazy person and the last thing I rarely ever want is to be in control of a situation when others are perfectly capable of doing so and have a greater desire to. No, I take control because it sets me at ease, it makes me more comfortable, to know that my grade is completely under my own control. Unless I am completely convinced that those in my group are far more efficient than I and will do everything perfectly, which I rarely ever am, I will never let someone do the work that could possibly ruin my grade. It's never because I doubt the abilities of the others, it's just that I trust my own abilities more than I trust theirs, and that's not just with quality of work, but with punctuality and so on.
So really, would I be in any better shape if one of my classmates had the project right now? No, in fact I'd probably be panicking, thinking about what could go wrong all day, and calling them every 5 minutes to make sure they haven't forgotten about it and asking them to explain in excruciating detail exactly what they're doing to it.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
There must be more than this provincial life
Today I had quite a life-changing revelation: life, as it stands right now, is incredibly boring. And not only that, but the plans for the future aren't the least bit more exciting.
Allow me to elaborate.
Today at around 11:10 am, I entered my AP English class, as I normally do. However, instead of having class today, one of Mrs. Garafolo's former students, Jamel, was there to talk about what he had done since graduating high school last year. He began to speak about the freedom you have when you aren't controlled by the daily routines of school and the schoolwork that comes from it. He took a year off and went backpacking all over Europe, basically surviving by camping and on about 5 or 6 bucks a day, and then ended up in Ethiopia helping a children's home for kids who were completely abandoned. He said he doesn't even have a phone, because to him, that's baggage tying him down. All of this is what really made me think. All this time, I've been convinced I want to stay in high school, and then when I have to leave, I want to go directly to college. All the routines and work and deadlines...none of it is me. Honestly, if I knew I could attain a job paying just as well as it would be if I had gone to college, I wouldn't go. I have no desire to continue schooling beyond the factors of "I need to provide for myself in the future" and "My parents want me to." I'm only going because I have to, and that's it. It's the reason I've really never been excited about any college, because truthfully, deep down in my gut no matter how much I do love a college, I know it's really not where I want to be. And the majors? Forget that. I love to write, no doubt about that, but I don't want to be the busy journalist wearing suits and working in a bustling office, constantly on the phone and computer, struggling to meet deadlines. Why would I ever want to create that much stress and pressure for myself? I'm the laziest person alive! But, I know I have to, because it's the only decent job you can get where you can write that will solidly provide for you. I mean, Jamel talked about how he just wrote a huge story about what happened to him as he traveled, and his thoughts about it. That just SCREAMS Charlotte. That would be heaven on earth for me. Yet, can I do that? No, because that's not society's norm, and it's certainly not my parent's norm.
So basically, what am I saying? I'm saying I'm bored. I'm bored of getting up at the same time every day, going to the same classes, seeing the same people, doing the same things after school. I mean sure, there are people I love and want to keep in my life forever, but I'm talking about the general public, or maybe just the way certain people are friends with me, if that makes any sense at all. It's just always the same. And I'm tired of worrying about scholarships and SATS and ACTS and passing classes and getting accepted to UM and everything. I don't understand why I should set my life up for the same boring routine of school and work, when there's an entire world to explore so huge that it's completely unfathomable to someone such as myself who is stuck in these monotonous ways in the straight-path town. One thing that Jamel said that really stuck with me was "People say they're going to do a lot of things, yet they don't for one reason or another. Really, the only person holding you back is yourself." He's completely right, and I refuse to hold myself back. I deserve more than this. I need more than this.
Allow me to elaborate.
Today at around 11:10 am, I entered my AP English class, as I normally do. However, instead of having class today, one of Mrs. Garafolo's former students, Jamel, was there to talk about what he had done since graduating high school last year. He began to speak about the freedom you have when you aren't controlled by the daily routines of school and the schoolwork that comes from it. He took a year off and went backpacking all over Europe, basically surviving by camping and on about 5 or 6 bucks a day, and then ended up in Ethiopia helping a children's home for kids who were completely abandoned. He said he doesn't even have a phone, because to him, that's baggage tying him down. All of this is what really made me think. All this time, I've been convinced I want to stay in high school, and then when I have to leave, I want to go directly to college. All the routines and work and deadlines...none of it is me. Honestly, if I knew I could attain a job paying just as well as it would be if I had gone to college, I wouldn't go. I have no desire to continue schooling beyond the factors of "I need to provide for myself in the future" and "My parents want me to." I'm only going because I have to, and that's it. It's the reason I've really never been excited about any college, because truthfully, deep down in my gut no matter how much I do love a college, I know it's really not where I want to be. And the majors? Forget that. I love to write, no doubt about that, but I don't want to be the busy journalist wearing suits and working in a bustling office, constantly on the phone and computer, struggling to meet deadlines. Why would I ever want to create that much stress and pressure for myself? I'm the laziest person alive! But, I know I have to, because it's the only decent job you can get where you can write that will solidly provide for you. I mean, Jamel talked about how he just wrote a huge story about what happened to him as he traveled, and his thoughts about it. That just SCREAMS Charlotte. That would be heaven on earth for me. Yet, can I do that? No, because that's not society's norm, and it's certainly not my parent's norm.
So basically, what am I saying? I'm saying I'm bored. I'm bored of getting up at the same time every day, going to the same classes, seeing the same people, doing the same things after school. I mean sure, there are people I love and want to keep in my life forever, but I'm talking about the general public, or maybe just the way certain people are friends with me, if that makes any sense at all. It's just always the same. And I'm tired of worrying about scholarships and SATS and ACTS and passing classes and getting accepted to UM and everything. I don't understand why I should set my life up for the same boring routine of school and work, when there's an entire world to explore so huge that it's completely unfathomable to someone such as myself who is stuck in these monotonous ways in the straight-path town. One thing that Jamel said that really stuck with me was "People say they're going to do a lot of things, yet they don't for one reason or another. Really, the only person holding you back is yourself." He's completely right, and I refuse to hold myself back. I deserve more than this. I need more than this.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Backstabbing Bitches
I'm a pretty short-tempered person, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. I get angry at some pretty little things every now and then, but I also get over them relatively quickly. Like for instance, when there's an insanely annoying girl at school who I cannot stand with every fiber of my being, I can usually pretend to tolerate her, just to make it easy for everyone, and just because sometimes I'm really too lazy to deal with any confrontation. However, there's always the possibility this chick could go too far, in which case I'd have to act.
And the bitch just did.
I can deal with pretty much anything people throw at me without getting upset. You can talk shit about me, to me, whatever the hell you want. To be quite honest, it's not going to phase me, because it just reinforces my belief of what a pathetic loser you are. But sometimes, someone decides they want to screw with my friends.
Now we have a problem dear.
In case you weren't aware, we girls have a few rules amongst each other. One of the main ones being "You don't date a guy that your friend deems as off limits." That's pretty much simple enough with anyone with the most primitive pre-matured brain to comprehend. But no, this chick decides to slut it up all around this guy my friend has liked for a REALLY long time. Well you know what bitch? I have a few things to say to you:
You are PATHETIC. Just because no guy will ever like you doesn't mean you go trying to steal other people's guys. Especially not someone who you call your best friend. You wouldn't know what true friendship was if it came up and bitch-slapped you in your hideous visage you call a face. Not only will he NEVER like you back, but you just lost an amazing friend in the process because you have NO FUCKING MORALS. So why don't you just go sit in your pathetic emo corner listening to those shitty excuses for bands you classify as music and go be a slutty poser somewhere else because no one here wants to deal with your sad life because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE.
Oh and P.S., I don't know if you've realized it or not, but you only steal other girls' boyfriends if you're actually ATTRACTIVE, not if your face looks like it got pummeled with a frying pan one too many times.
And the bitch just did.
I can deal with pretty much anything people throw at me without getting upset. You can talk shit about me, to me, whatever the hell you want. To be quite honest, it's not going to phase me, because it just reinforces my belief of what a pathetic loser you are. But sometimes, someone decides they want to screw with my friends.
Now we have a problem dear.
In case you weren't aware, we girls have a few rules amongst each other. One of the main ones being "You don't date a guy that your friend deems as off limits." That's pretty much simple enough with anyone with the most primitive pre-matured brain to comprehend. But no, this chick decides to slut it up all around this guy my friend has liked for a REALLY long time. Well you know what bitch? I have a few things to say to you:
You are PATHETIC. Just because no guy will ever like you doesn't mean you go trying to steal other people's guys. Especially not someone who you call your best friend. You wouldn't know what true friendship was if it came up and bitch-slapped you in your hideous visage you call a face. Not only will he NEVER like you back, but you just lost an amazing friend in the process because you have NO FUCKING MORALS. So why don't you just go sit in your pathetic emo corner listening to those shitty excuses for bands you classify as music and go be a slutty poser somewhere else because no one here wants to deal with your sad life because NONE OF US FUCKING CARE.
Oh and P.S., I don't know if you've realized it or not, but you only steal other girls' boyfriends if you're actually ATTRACTIVE, not if your face looks like it got pummeled with a frying pan one too many times.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Just everything.
I'm sick of doing horribly on all my AP US tests. I wish Mr. Williams was my teacher again. I miss all my classes from last year. I wish I could go back in time and re-do things. I'm sick of people asking me if i'm okay and if i want to talk, because i'm not and i don't. I'm sick of getting glares from stupid catty bitches who don't like me. I'm tired of how you can't do anything without it being a big deal. I wish I had my license and a car. I don't want to graduate high school. I wish I was already accepted to UM and had enough money to go there. I wish I wasn't so tired all the time. I wish I could take all AP classes so I wouldn't have to deal with the idiots in Honors classes. I hate Chemistry and my Chem teacher with a fiery passion. I wish I only had to take classes that corresponded with what I want to major in in college. I'm sick of spending the entire AP English class listen to Mrs. Garafolo fawn over her favorite students. I am SO sick of The Scarlet Letter and hope Nathaniel Hawthorne is burning slowly in the fiery pits of hell for writing that torture device of a book. I wish I had a boyfriend. I wish the guy I liked didn't hate my guts and that everything would go back to normal. I'm sick of my parents only caring when it's convenient for them. I wish I was skinny. I'm sick of feeling like I'm not good enough. I'm sick of PSAT workshops. I wish someone would do all my college thinking for me. I miss Kylee and Nathan and want them to move back. I wish I didn't have to wake up every goddamn morning and drag myself to the same school seeing the same people and being so fucking upset about the same stupid shit all over again.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I have one thing to say and one thing only...
People who don't know about college football need to stop obsessing over the Gators because it's the "cool thing" to do, and Tebow needs to come out of the closet already and/or fall off a cliff. Whichever comes first.
Honestly, either follow college football, learn about it, and THEN decide you like the Gators, but don't go from knowing nothing about football one day to saying "Go Gators!" the next! They really aren't that great, and their school is a bunch of stuck up losers, and you are nothing more than a statistic to them.
Oh yeah, and if Jacory and Tebow were to fight, Jacory would win HANDS DOWN. I don't know what dillusions people are going through thinking that nancy boy could take on Jacory, honestly, let's be logical people.
It's all about THE U babyyyyyyyy!
Honestly, either follow college football, learn about it, and THEN decide you like the Gators, but don't go from knowing nothing about football one day to saying "Go Gators!" the next! They really aren't that great, and their school is a bunch of stuck up losers, and you are nothing more than a statistic to them.
Oh yeah, and if Jacory and Tebow were to fight, Jacory would win HANDS DOWN. I don't know what dillusions people are going through thinking that nancy boy could take on Jacory, honestly, let's be logical people.
It's all about THE U babyyyyyyyy!
Friday, September 25, 2009
SUCCESS!
After about an hour of searching my entire computer, I finally found my final GP essay from last year, A.K.A, the best essay I've written to date. I am a WINNER.
Prompt: Why should we bother studying writing from the past or from other countries if it does not seem to be relevant to us?
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The most important thing is not to stop questioning." This quote from Albert Einstein gives great advice. Over the years, such a variety of historical highs and lows have accumulated in books, studies, and reports. With decades of history at our fingertips, would it not be advantageous to our society to use it as a resource to learn for not only now, but the future? And not only can we reap the benefits from past texts and inventions, but we can also learn from the development of countries around the world. Studying texts, blueprints, books, and even plays from the past and all over the world can only expedite our country's advancement.
Technological advancements throughout the years would have been impossible without previous inventions and developments that have been recorded into blueprints and documents from other societies. Even the simplest concepts would never have been created if it were not for previous ideas that we have researched. Take our modern day alphabet, for instance. Without the Phoenicians laying groundwork for such a system, our 26 letter alphabet wouldn't exist. There's also the development of more complex creations, such as the airplane. Without the original blueprints from Orville and Wilbur Wright, expansion on the original flying machine could have never occurred, and we would not have the massive jet-powered planes we have today. Over time, technologies have been perfected from the use of past experiences and recordings, and in no way is this progression stopping. As long as we use our past, we will continue to become more technologically savvy as time goes on.
There are those who say that because of current technology and world conditions, the past's recordings are irrelevant, especially as they apply to us from other countries. Not only is this untrue considering that there is always room to improve technologically and culturally, but this idea does not apply to philosophy or psychology. By using the lessons that our ancestors from other countries have already created and recorded for the sole purpose to help future generations, philosophies such as Buddhism and Hinduism have been created and spawned into two of the largest religions today. This proves that an even text from other countries past's are beneficial to our people.
With the use of the past's texts, new ideas can be spawned. There might not be a revival of the exact same concept that the Romans used in the architecture thousands of years ago, but with the integration of ideas and techniques from different cultures, something new and even more astonishing will be created. After all, that was how the Renaissance was started. The European's investigation of ancient Greek and Roman texts led to the birth of humanism, historical works of art from Da Vinci and Michelangelo, and groundbreaking books such as The Prince by Machiavelli. With such a great amount of history available today, who is to say another artistic renaissance is not around the corner in the grand scheme of things? Not only can we create an artistically advanced society today, but the discoveries and creations we make will assist future generations to initiate their own renaissance.
Over the years, great works of the past have been reproduced and updated for modern times ad infinitum. One might say that it is unnecessary to seek out the original when a modern adaptation is available and so much easier to comprehend. While this may be true, is it not important to see the original masterpieces in their purest forms? Take for example the recreation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet into the musical West Side Story. While West Side Story is an excellent film, the real integrity of Romeo and Juliet can not be appreciated by simply watching its remake. The beauty and elegance of Shakespeare's poetry can only be truly appreciated by a select few, but that does not deem this masterpiece irrelevant to our society.
The world has made great progression since the early times of the nomadic hunters and gatherers, and writings from the past and other countries have only helped this progression. With texts from the past, we can "learn from yesterday"; with present writings from other countries we can "live for today"; and when we use all of this to work together to further our development, there always will be "hope for tomorrow."
Prompt: Why should we bother studying writing from the past or from other countries if it does not seem to be relevant to us?
"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The most important thing is not to stop questioning." This quote from Albert Einstein gives great advice. Over the years, such a variety of historical highs and lows have accumulated in books, studies, and reports. With decades of history at our fingertips, would it not be advantageous to our society to use it as a resource to learn for not only now, but the future? And not only can we reap the benefits from past texts and inventions, but we can also learn from the development of countries around the world. Studying texts, blueprints, books, and even plays from the past and all over the world can only expedite our country's advancement.
Technological advancements throughout the years would have been impossible without previous inventions and developments that have been recorded into blueprints and documents from other societies. Even the simplest concepts would never have been created if it were not for previous ideas that we have researched. Take our modern day alphabet, for instance. Without the Phoenicians laying groundwork for such a system, our 26 letter alphabet wouldn't exist. There's also the development of more complex creations, such as the airplane. Without the original blueprints from Orville and Wilbur Wright, expansion on the original flying machine could have never occurred, and we would not have the massive jet-powered planes we have today. Over time, technologies have been perfected from the use of past experiences and recordings, and in no way is this progression stopping. As long as we use our past, we will continue to become more technologically savvy as time goes on.
There are those who say that because of current technology and world conditions, the past's recordings are irrelevant, especially as they apply to us from other countries. Not only is this untrue considering that there is always room to improve technologically and culturally, but this idea does not apply to philosophy or psychology. By using the lessons that our ancestors from other countries have already created and recorded for the sole purpose to help future generations, philosophies such as Buddhism and Hinduism have been created and spawned into two of the largest religions today. This proves that an even text from other countries past's are beneficial to our people.
With the use of the past's texts, new ideas can be spawned. There might not be a revival of the exact same concept that the Romans used in the architecture thousands of years ago, but with the integration of ideas and techniques from different cultures, something new and even more astonishing will be created. After all, that was how the Renaissance was started. The European's investigation of ancient Greek and Roman texts led to the birth of humanism, historical works of art from Da Vinci and Michelangelo, and groundbreaking books such as The Prince by Machiavelli. With such a great amount of history available today, who is to say another artistic renaissance is not around the corner in the grand scheme of things? Not only can we create an artistically advanced society today, but the discoveries and creations we make will assist future generations to initiate their own renaissance.
Over the years, great works of the past have been reproduced and updated for modern times ad infinitum. One might say that it is unnecessary to seek out the original when a modern adaptation is available and so much easier to comprehend. While this may be true, is it not important to see the original masterpieces in their purest forms? Take for example the recreation of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet into the musical West Side Story. While West Side Story is an excellent film, the real integrity of Romeo and Juliet can not be appreciated by simply watching its remake. The beauty and elegance of Shakespeare's poetry can only be truly appreciated by a select few, but that does not deem this masterpiece irrelevant to our society.
The world has made great progression since the early times of the nomadic hunters and gatherers, and writings from the past and other countries have only helped this progression. With texts from the past, we can "learn from yesterday"; with present writings from other countries we can "live for today"; and when we use all of this to work together to further our development, there always will be "hope for tomorrow."
Saturday, September 19, 2009
25 things
It's one of those "25 things about me" deals that you see going around on facebook notes.
I'm bored, so i figured, "what the hell?"
1) I can not go to sleep without listening to Stairway to Heaven or While My Guitar Gently Weeps. (I didn't list the artists because if you don't know who those songs are by, then get off my blog. Now.)
2) I sleep with my teddy bear on my head.
3) I have really bad stage fright/fear of public speaking.
4) I'm actually very good at softball, I just choose not to play it because I hate physical exertion.
5) I've known how to read music since I was 4.
6) I can't cook or bake to save my life.
7) I'm terrified of the ocean, needles, and birds.
8) I can't swallow pills.
9) I can play any instrument by ear.
10) I would rather stay home and read a book than go out.
11) When I get upset, I write stories about how I wish my life was.
12) I want to stay in high school forever.
13) I'm a vegetarian, but not completely because I like seafood too much.
14) I really hate confrontation and arguments, but I seem to get myself into a lot of them.
15) The reason I try so hard in school is because I hate it when people do better than me in any aspect.
16) I don't think I'm pretty.
17) I would give up everything and anything I own just to meet Paul McCartney and hear him sing Hey Jude.
18) I hate kids.
19) Sometimes I'll tell my friends I'm busy and can't hang out simply because I'm too lazy and would rather lay in bed and watch a movie.
20) I really do love Florida and don't want to leave until I'm married.
21) I absolutely despise guys who are clingy.
22) I'm insecure about my weight but I'm too lazy to work out and do anything about it.
23) I want to work as a Disney Princess in Disneyworld.
24) I miss Kylee Blair and find it hard to get through the school days without her.
25) It took me a really long time to think up 25 interesting and somewhat unique things about myself.
I'm bored, so i figured, "what the hell?"
1) I can not go to sleep without listening to Stairway to Heaven or While My Guitar Gently Weeps. (I didn't list the artists because if you don't know who those songs are by, then get off my blog. Now.)
2) I sleep with my teddy bear on my head.
3) I have really bad stage fright/fear of public speaking.
4) I'm actually very good at softball, I just choose not to play it because I hate physical exertion.
5) I've known how to read music since I was 4.
6) I can't cook or bake to save my life.
7) I'm terrified of the ocean, needles, and birds.
8) I can't swallow pills.
9) I can play any instrument by ear.
10) I would rather stay home and read a book than go out.
11) When I get upset, I write stories about how I wish my life was.
12) I want to stay in high school forever.
13) I'm a vegetarian, but not completely because I like seafood too much.
14) I really hate confrontation and arguments, but I seem to get myself into a lot of them.
15) The reason I try so hard in school is because I hate it when people do better than me in any aspect.
16) I don't think I'm pretty.
17) I would give up everything and anything I own just to meet Paul McCartney and hear him sing Hey Jude.
18) I hate kids.
19) Sometimes I'll tell my friends I'm busy and can't hang out simply because I'm too lazy and would rather lay in bed and watch a movie.
20) I really do love Florida and don't want to leave until I'm married.
21) I absolutely despise guys who are clingy.
22) I'm insecure about my weight but I'm too lazy to work out and do anything about it.
23) I want to work as a Disney Princess in Disneyworld.
24) I miss Kylee Blair and find it hard to get through the school days without her.
25) It took me a really long time to think up 25 interesting and somewhat unique things about myself.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Ignorance is your new best friend
Stupid people really annoy me.
I just really needed to say that.
I don't know how teachers deal. I'd probably get fired for insulting them and causing them emotional distress. I just don't understand what's so hard about a little common sense. Is it really that difficult to maintain?
Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
I was in AP Psych the other day and we were taking a vocabulary quiz. In the back of my AP Psych class, there's this whole crew of complete idiots, each one of them dumber than the next! It's quite an accomplishment actually if you think about it.
But anyway, so the head-hancho of the Stupidity Gang back there blurts out "Are any of these terms used more than once??"
My teacher replies maybe.
"But not twice right?" she asks back.
Really?
What, were you expecting to use half a term? Yeah, it's the new thing teachers are trying, they give you half the definition and you write HALF the word! Isn't it great?!
Well I guess I just answered my own question. It seems that a little common sense is too difficult to maintain.
Oh, and this post is dedicated to Bruno, because he stalks me and I know he'll read this at some point and chuckle to himself. ;)
P.S.: STOP QUOTING MY BLOG! :P
I just really needed to say that.
I don't know how teachers deal. I'd probably get fired for insulting them and causing them emotional distress. I just don't understand what's so hard about a little common sense. Is it really that difficult to maintain?
Here's an example of what I'm talking about:
I was in AP Psych the other day and we were taking a vocabulary quiz. In the back of my AP Psych class, there's this whole crew of complete idiots, each one of them dumber than the next! It's quite an accomplishment actually if you think about it.
But anyway, so the head-hancho of the Stupidity Gang back there blurts out "Are any of these terms used more than once??"
My teacher replies maybe.
"But not twice right?" she asks back.
Really?
What, were you expecting to use half a term? Yeah, it's the new thing teachers are trying, they give you half the definition and you write HALF the word! Isn't it great?!
Well I guess I just answered my own question. It seems that a little common sense is too difficult to maintain.
Oh, and this post is dedicated to Bruno, because he stalks me and I know he'll read this at some point and chuckle to himself. ;)
P.S.: STOP QUOTING MY BLOG! :P
Thursday, September 10, 2009
stress
stress is the most annoying thing anyone can ever have the displeasure of experiencing. it's aggravating, it's upsetting, it's irritating, it's....stressful!
my life is always pretty stressful, but sometimes everything just gets over the top.
here's a bit of a list rant to get out everything that is seriously stressing me out:
i'm having serious face skin problems. this itchy rash on my arm is annoying and ugly. my legs look gross. i hate this scarlet letter book. my AP English class/teacher is making me feel like i can't really write anymore. i understand NOTHING in AP US History. my writing sucks as of right now because i have no motivation. i failed my AP US test today without a doubt. my parents are immature and annoying. i feel like i'm not getting any better at driving. i have bruises from holding all my textbooks. i have to go to college soon. what if i don't get IN to college. one of my friends is a total fake bitch. the guy who i used to like hates my guts now. things are going nowhere once again with the guy i always have liked. i'm not the vice president of the chorus even though i deserve to be. i miss my classes from last year. my boyfriend chances are zero. i only attract the guys i DON'T want. i'm constantly sleep-deprived. i don't have my license so i have to rely on my parents which sucks. there are bugs in my house and they keep biting me and i'm really itchy. my grades aren't good enough.
but you know what bugs me most of all? what reeeeally pushes me buttons and just throws me over the edge? when my friends think they're more stressed out than i am. i feel like shaking them by the shoulders and yelling in their face "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STRESS IS!" you're stressed out about your science FCAT because it's "too hard"? i have to worry about passing my SAT's. there's too much going on in your little regular credit elective? try having all your electives be AP classes and never having a break. your two simple AP classes giving you trouble? try having 4 of the hardest ones the school has to offer. concerned about passing this grade? i'm concerned about how the hell i'm going to be able to go to college, and whether or not i'll even get accepted.
they complain about being "so overwhelmed" with "too much going on." i love my friends, but when i hear this, it makes me want to smack them in the face with my 60 pounds of textbooks i have to carry. try having parents who talk about how you'll probably fail, yet expect straight A's. try studying as hard as you can for an AP history test, yet completely failing anyway. try fitting in chorus meetings, national honor society, and extra study sessions all into that 30 minute lunch period when you still need 10 minutes left over just so you can review your note cards so you don't fail your AP Psych test. try being reminded EVERY DAY that if you don't get a scholarship or some sort of grant, all your hard work and efforts are going NOWHERE. so please, don't stand at your locker putting away your 3 pound textbook complaining about how overwhelmed you are while i'm right next to you about to burst into tears, struggling to get my 20 pounds each textbooks into my bag and arms for the next load of mentally distressing classes. you don't even know the half of it.
my life is always pretty stressful, but sometimes everything just gets over the top.
here's a bit of a list rant to get out everything that is seriously stressing me out:
i'm having serious face skin problems. this itchy rash on my arm is annoying and ugly. my legs look gross. i hate this scarlet letter book. my AP English class/teacher is making me feel like i can't really write anymore. i understand NOTHING in AP US History. my writing sucks as of right now because i have no motivation. i failed my AP US test today without a doubt. my parents are immature and annoying. i feel like i'm not getting any better at driving. i have bruises from holding all my textbooks. i have to go to college soon. what if i don't get IN to college. one of my friends is a total fake bitch. the guy who i used to like hates my guts now. things are going nowhere once again with the guy i always have liked. i'm not the vice president of the chorus even though i deserve to be. i miss my classes from last year. my boyfriend chances are zero. i only attract the guys i DON'T want. i'm constantly sleep-deprived. i don't have my license so i have to rely on my parents which sucks. there are bugs in my house and they keep biting me and i'm really itchy. my grades aren't good enough.
but you know what bugs me most of all? what reeeeally pushes me buttons and just throws me over the edge? when my friends think they're more stressed out than i am. i feel like shaking them by the shoulders and yelling in their face "YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT STRESS IS!" you're stressed out about your science FCAT because it's "too hard"? i have to worry about passing my SAT's. there's too much going on in your little regular credit elective? try having all your electives be AP classes and never having a break. your two simple AP classes giving you trouble? try having 4 of the hardest ones the school has to offer. concerned about passing this grade? i'm concerned about how the hell i'm going to be able to go to college, and whether or not i'll even get accepted.
they complain about being "so overwhelmed" with "too much going on." i love my friends, but when i hear this, it makes me want to smack them in the face with my 60 pounds of textbooks i have to carry. try having parents who talk about how you'll probably fail, yet expect straight A's. try studying as hard as you can for an AP history test, yet completely failing anyway. try fitting in chorus meetings, national honor society, and extra study sessions all into that 30 minute lunch period when you still need 10 minutes left over just so you can review your note cards so you don't fail your AP Psych test. try being reminded EVERY DAY that if you don't get a scholarship or some sort of grant, all your hard work and efforts are going NOWHERE. so please, don't stand at your locker putting away your 3 pound textbook complaining about how overwhelmed you are while i'm right next to you about to burst into tears, struggling to get my 20 pounds each textbooks into my bag and arms for the next load of mentally distressing classes. you don't even know the half of it.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
That's right motherfucker!
Today has been one of the funniest days of my life. I just felt like putting some quotes and pictures up here for documentation, because it's really been fabulous.
A random text out of the blue from Tatiana:
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER! The village idiot is filled with wisdom. Don't worry, there's enough advice for all the little kiddies.
What Tatiana and I do during College Algerbra:
What we all do during 7th hour (we don't have a class) in Mr. Combs's room. That's where it's AT!
^^^ Bruno is now officially "Pop-Tart Faviero"
^^^ Jessica decided to rename everyone: Pop Tart Faviero, Sean Mango, Gabriella Sugar Booger Pusher, and Frankie Fish-popsicle.
Yeah, as you might be able to tell, we're pretty cool people.
A random text out of the blue from Tatiana:
THAT'S RIGHT MOTHERFUCKER! The village idiot is filled with wisdom. Don't worry, there's enough advice for all the little kiddies.
What Tatiana and I do during College Algerbra:
What we all do during 7th hour (we don't have a class) in Mr. Combs's room. That's where it's AT!
^^^ Bruno is now officially "Pop-Tart Faviero"
^^^ Jessica decided to rename everyone: Pop Tart Faviero, Sean Mango, Gabriella Sugar Booger Pusher, and Frankie Fish-popsicle.
Yeah, as you might be able to tell, we're pretty cool people.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sweet 16 in Disneyworld :)
16 is a big birthday for everyone. it's the age when you can get your license (which i will have in February by the way), and it's generally the age that everyone idealizes as the age when you're truly mature.
i thought about having the stereotypical narcissistic "sweet 16" where the main idea is to make everyone jealous and focus on me, but overall, it didn't really appeal to me. you know what DOES appeal to me though? DISNEYWORLD!
so my parents, sister, lily, and myself packed up our bags and headed to disneyworld for my birthday. it was soooo much fun. everyone had to wish me happy birthday, i got some stuff for free, lily and i had our own hotel room, and we got to do basically whatever we want.
there are SO many funny stories to this trip, but here's just a few and some pictures to associate with them:
okay so this was by far the funniest story (at least in our opinion)
so we had just been on Rockin Rollar Coaster (for the umpteenth time) and we decided that we wanted to buy our picture, so we went up to the counter to get it. we ended up being served by this guy named Michael (who, if by some amazing chance is reading this ever, kudos to you for putting up with us buddy). lily and i decided that we wanted to buy two 5x7 photos and split the cost. so, being a naturally helpful disney cast member, Michael told us it would be $11.69 each.
now, before i continue on, allow me to point out two things:
1) Lily and I can be extremely immature, especially when it comes to anything sexual.
2) Earlier that day, the number 69 was in our Everest picture number code.
anyway, after being told this, lily blurts out "that number just follows us everywhere."
now, no one, no matter how mature, can deny what just happened. yes, we're laughing at the number in a sexual way, we ALL know it.
so Michael starts to chuckle a bit. i quickly explain that we're immature teenagers and i'm sorry we're like this. he understands. then, as lily is getting her change out to pay, she drops a penny. i point this out to her, and then she says "sorry, it's hard to handle."
that's what did it.
slowly but surely, Michael's laughter increases, and so does mine. then it gets to the point where Michael had to turn around and put his head down on the counter he's laughing so hard. You all understand that fake laughter every sales person gives you because they're required to act like they think you're funny? well, this was genuine, LOL, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard laughter. at this point we're all just cracking up hysterically, me mainly at the hilarity of the situation: we're currently sharing an inappropriate sexual-related laugh with a Disney cast member. excuse me, but i think that's pretty damn hilarious.
after we calm down a bit, Michael decides we should write 6 and 9 on our individual photos. i then pick up the pen and write on both mine and lily's. lily asks "what i'm not allowed to use the pen?" "YES YOU CAN'T!" i reply. (i was a bit out of it.) Michael then looks around to check for his manager and then proceeds to say "You aren't allowed to use a pen, they're too hard to handle."
needless to say, best disney moment ever.
-----
you might be wondering: what's so special about that there sign Charlotte?
to tell you the truth, not that much.
but to me and lily it was extremely special.
we were watching this disney special on the tv at the hotel (one of those things that tells you about disney, you know what i mean) and there was a trivia question about where they grow vegetables in disney. the answer was "The Land!" with that exclamation mark. Lily then proceeds to say "The LAAAAAAND!" in a funny voice, which made us both very giggly.
We then deemed it appropriate to take a picture with this sign in a excited and exhilarated fashion.
I still feel it was very necessary, at least in our minds.
----
for the longest time, lily and i have been horrified of Splash Mountain. pretty dumb, perhaps, but nobody asked your opinion did they?
so last time i went, i went on. i realized it was nothing. i told lily this but she still didn't want to go on.
then, we were roaming around Magic Kingdom at about 11:30pm. perhaps it was the late hours, the excitement of being in Disneyworld on my birthday, or the incredible amounts of sugar we'd been consuming. either way, we ended up on there, and lily was none too happy about it.
if you've ever been on Splash Mountain, you know about all the little animals and signs and such. so there's multiple signs saying "To the Laughin' Place" pointing towards where you go DOWN.
Lily then says, in an extremely pissed-off fashion: "Why do I feel like the Laughin' Place isn't going to be very funny?"
As you might of guessed, we both found this extremely amusing, and still do.
i thought about having the stereotypical narcissistic "sweet 16" where the main idea is to make everyone jealous and focus on me, but overall, it didn't really appeal to me. you know what DOES appeal to me though? DISNEYWORLD!
so my parents, sister, lily, and myself packed up our bags and headed to disneyworld for my birthday. it was soooo much fun. everyone had to wish me happy birthday, i got some stuff for free, lily and i had our own hotel room, and we got to do basically whatever we want.
there are SO many funny stories to this trip, but here's just a few and some pictures to associate with them:
okay so this was by far the funniest story (at least in our opinion)so we had just been on Rockin Rollar Coaster (for the umpteenth time) and we decided that we wanted to buy our picture, so we went up to the counter to get it. we ended up being served by this guy named Michael (who, if by some amazing chance is reading this ever, kudos to you for putting up with us buddy). lily and i decided that we wanted to buy two 5x7 photos and split the cost. so, being a naturally helpful disney cast member, Michael told us it would be $11.69 each.
now, before i continue on, allow me to point out two things:
1) Lily and I can be extremely immature, especially when it comes to anything sexual.
2) Earlier that day, the number 69 was in our Everest picture number code.
anyway, after being told this, lily blurts out "that number just follows us everywhere."
now, no one, no matter how mature, can deny what just happened. yes, we're laughing at the number in a sexual way, we ALL know it.
so Michael starts to chuckle a bit. i quickly explain that we're immature teenagers and i'm sorry we're like this. he understands. then, as lily is getting her change out to pay, she drops a penny. i point this out to her, and then she says "sorry, it's hard to handle."
that's what did it.
slowly but surely, Michael's laughter increases, and so does mine. then it gets to the point where Michael had to turn around and put his head down on the counter he's laughing so hard. You all understand that fake laughter every sales person gives you because they're required to act like they think you're funny? well, this was genuine, LOL, my stomach hurts from laughing so hard laughter. at this point we're all just cracking up hysterically, me mainly at the hilarity of the situation: we're currently sharing an inappropriate sexual-related laugh with a Disney cast member. excuse me, but i think that's pretty damn hilarious.
after we calm down a bit, Michael decides we should write 6 and 9 on our individual photos. i then pick up the pen and write on both mine and lily's. lily asks "what i'm not allowed to use the pen?" "YES YOU CAN'T!" i reply. (i was a bit out of it.) Michael then looks around to check for his manager and then proceeds to say "You aren't allowed to use a pen, they're too hard to handle."
needless to say, best disney moment ever.
-----
you might be wondering: what's so special about that there sign Charlotte?to tell you the truth, not that much.
but to me and lily it was extremely special.
we were watching this disney special on the tv at the hotel (one of those things that tells you about disney, you know what i mean) and there was a trivia question about where they grow vegetables in disney. the answer was "The Land!" with that exclamation mark. Lily then proceeds to say "The LAAAAAAND!" in a funny voice, which made us both very giggly.
We then deemed it appropriate to take a picture with this sign in a excited and exhilarated fashion.
I still feel it was very necessary, at least in our minds.
----
for the longest time, lily and i have been horrified of Splash Mountain. pretty dumb, perhaps, but nobody asked your opinion did they?so last time i went, i went on. i realized it was nothing. i told lily this but she still didn't want to go on.
then, we were roaming around Magic Kingdom at about 11:30pm. perhaps it was the late hours, the excitement of being in Disneyworld on my birthday, or the incredible amounts of sugar we'd been consuming. either way, we ended up on there, and lily was none too happy about it.
if you've ever been on Splash Mountain, you know about all the little animals and signs and such. so there's multiple signs saying "To the Laughin' Place" pointing towards where you go DOWN.
Lily then says, in an extremely pissed-off fashion: "Why do I feel like the Laughin' Place isn't going to be very funny?"
As you might of guessed, we both found this extremely amusing, and still do.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
write it, don't say it
have you ever had one of those moments where you mean to say one thing, yet it comes out completely different? maybe the words you used aren't as intelligent as how you thought them in your head; maybe your grammar isn't as perfect as it is in your thoughts; or maybe you do the classic thinking about saying "great" then halfway changing it to "cool" so it sounds like you're saying "gruel"?
it's simple thoughts-to-words mess-ups. everybody has them now and again, right?
yeah, try every day of my LIFE!
i don't mean to be conceited, but i think i'm pretty damn smart. smarter than most kids my age. yet, it seems to me, a lot of people don't see me that way. of course, being blonde doesn't help much. i mean, think about it. if you saw a blonde, decently attractive girl laughing and giggling with all her friends, would you automatically stereotype her as the smart one? of course not, no one would.
so naturally, i want to prove people wrong. i want to show them i'm not the ditzy girl i'm percieved to be. so how would any normal person do this? by talking of course! express your thoughts and opinions!
aaaaaand cue my downfall.
where there is a blessing, there is a curse, and that's the exact case with me. i've been granted the greatness of having a truly intelligent mind, and i'm not going to sugarcoat it so i don't seem conceited. i'm smart, and i'm not ashamed to say it. the way things sound in my head and the way i transfer them to paper prove this, and i'm truly lucky to be able to do that.
but you don't think i've forgotten about the "curse" part of this deal, do you?
let me put it blatantly.
I. CAN'T. TALK.
i mean, of course, i can TALK, i'm an educated human being and am capable of such an elementary skill, but what i mean is i can't talk as eloquently as i think. the thoughts and opinions worthy of college level professors are brewing away in my mind, yet when they emerge, they sound like those of a simple teenage cheerleader who's confused by words that are two syllables or more.
yeah, it's that bad.
all my friends tell me i don't sound dumb, that i sound much smarter than the average person our age, but trust me, if they could hear how things sound in my head, they'd be able to tell the difference. that's why i love to write so much, because everything i think in my head comes out exactly as it is when i type on the computer or scribble away on paper.
but overall, i've been able to deal with it. i still sound as smart as or smarter than most of my friends, so what's the problem, right?
yeah, WRONG.
picture this scene:
you're really into this guy, but he's not just your average 11th grade guy. he's intelligent beyond his years, speaks with such eloquence, thinks as deep as philosophers, has controversial ideals that you completely agree with, and basically has discussions about the most in-depth things ever.
man, just thinking about it has made my writing drop a level.
so you've talked to him online, and it's gone great, because like i said, you're writing is better than your speaking. so one day, you work up the courage to talk to him in class.
he mentions something in a classroom discussion...
you agree with it completely...
you open your mouth to compliment him...
and you say...
"that was, like, a really, like, awesome point or you just said before...about that thing. *cue obnoxious nervous laughter*"
yeaaaaah, i need to practice my nerves and speaking skills around him more before i plunge back down that road of humiliation.
that, or bury my head in the sand and stay there for eternity. whichever comes first.
it's simple thoughts-to-words mess-ups. everybody has them now and again, right?
yeah, try every day of my LIFE!
i don't mean to be conceited, but i think i'm pretty damn smart. smarter than most kids my age. yet, it seems to me, a lot of people don't see me that way. of course, being blonde doesn't help much. i mean, think about it. if you saw a blonde, decently attractive girl laughing and giggling with all her friends, would you automatically stereotype her as the smart one? of course not, no one would.
so naturally, i want to prove people wrong. i want to show them i'm not the ditzy girl i'm percieved to be. so how would any normal person do this? by talking of course! express your thoughts and opinions!
aaaaaand cue my downfall.
where there is a blessing, there is a curse, and that's the exact case with me. i've been granted the greatness of having a truly intelligent mind, and i'm not going to sugarcoat it so i don't seem conceited. i'm smart, and i'm not ashamed to say it. the way things sound in my head and the way i transfer them to paper prove this, and i'm truly lucky to be able to do that.
but you don't think i've forgotten about the "curse" part of this deal, do you?
let me put it blatantly.
I. CAN'T. TALK.
i mean, of course, i can TALK, i'm an educated human being and am capable of such an elementary skill, but what i mean is i can't talk as eloquently as i think. the thoughts and opinions worthy of college level professors are brewing away in my mind, yet when they emerge, they sound like those of a simple teenage cheerleader who's confused by words that are two syllables or more.
yeah, it's that bad.
all my friends tell me i don't sound dumb, that i sound much smarter than the average person our age, but trust me, if they could hear how things sound in my head, they'd be able to tell the difference. that's why i love to write so much, because everything i think in my head comes out exactly as it is when i type on the computer or scribble away on paper.
but overall, i've been able to deal with it. i still sound as smart as or smarter than most of my friends, so what's the problem, right?
yeah, WRONG.
picture this scene:
you're really into this guy, but he's not just your average 11th grade guy. he's intelligent beyond his years, speaks with such eloquence, thinks as deep as philosophers, has controversial ideals that you completely agree with, and basically has discussions about the most in-depth things ever.
man, just thinking about it has made my writing drop a level.
so you've talked to him online, and it's gone great, because like i said, you're writing is better than your speaking. so one day, you work up the courage to talk to him in class.
he mentions something in a classroom discussion...
you agree with it completely...
you open your mouth to compliment him...
and you say...
"that was, like, a really, like, awesome point or you just said before...about that thing. *cue obnoxious nervous laughter*"
yeaaaaah, i need to practice my nerves and speaking skills around him more before i plunge back down that road of humiliation.
that, or bury my head in the sand and stay there for eternity. whichever comes first.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
first day of school analysis
Tuesday, August 18th, 2009
8:30am
Today was my first day of Junior Year.
I'm not gonna lie, I hate change. I despise my routine being altered or messed up, especially when I had such fun and amazing classes with all my friends like AICE General Paper or AP World History, but also I hate changing the fabulous teachers I had, like Mrs. Esposito, Mr. Williams, and Mr. "P Diddy" Combs (the last two being awesome just because of their personalities, not so much their teaching abilities. Mrs. Esposito on the other hand has definite BAMF status when it comes to being an English teacher.)
But I have to admit, it went over a LOT better than I expected. Let's do a play-by-play, shall we?
Period 1- French 2 with Madame Etienne.
This class probably felt the weirdest. I didn't know many people in there, and the room just had a strange vibe. But what makes it all worth while is I have that class with my best friend Lily :) I'm also extremely greatful that Mrs. Mazous is leaving on won't be our teacher, because I heard she is a complete bitch, and after witnessing her assisting the new teacher, I can definentley verify that she is.
Period 2- Vocal Ensamble with Ms. Passarello.
I love to sing, and this is the sole reason I stayed in this class. That, and I don't want to ditch Tatiana. I despise this teacher with every fiber of my being, but I can deal with her for two more years. As long as I get to sing. Also, it's really easy to talk in there, and somehow, Tatiana and I are going to end up Prez and Vice Prez if this senior chick doesn't show up, so i guess that's cool.
Period 3- Chemistry 1 Honors with Ms. Ahmed.
This class seems relatively easy because it's an honors class, and not to be conceited, but I can stick an honors class in my ear compared to the all the AP stuff I've done. Especially a class mainly about math, my easiest subject (besides writing, but I actually enjoy writing so that doesn't count.) The teacher is a young lady who I'd guess is about 23-24? She seems relatively sweet, I don't think she'll be a problem.
Period 4- AP English Composition with Mrs. Garafolo.
I've heard a LOT about this teacher, and she lived up to my expectations. She's about as close to having Mrs. Esposito again as I'm probably ever going to get. She has a unique sense of humor, which I find funny, she's very intelligent, and she's told us that the class is all about writing! Let me lean back in my chair and put up my feet, because this is going to be a breeze. The class also has a really good feel to it. There aren't too many people, I know the majority of them, and everyone was pretty talkative, but not in the annoying "regular class" kind of way, just in a general discussion with the teacher sort of way. It just feels right, which I'm happy about, because I was so worried I was going to hate my English class because of my amazing experiance last year.
Period 5- AP Psychology with Mr. Joynt.
Yep, that's right, his name is Mr. Joynt. And let me tell you something. He is the coolest teacher EVER. He's so funny, but also very smart. He recognizes we need to work, but is also extremely laid back. The class itself seems really cool, but it gives of the air of a regular class, not an AP class, and this kinda bothers me. I'm sure it'll die down soon though once some people switch out because they're too lazy to work.
Period 6- AP US History with Mr. Joynt (again).
I just know it, this is going to be my favorite class. I know pretty much everyone in it, I have so many good friends in there, and of course, Mr. Joynt teaches it. This class is going to be amazing, I can feel it.
So there's my analysis for the day. Not having a 7th hour is AMAZING! I can go visit Combs and Williams as I please, and then Liz and I can get outta there whenever we want. It feels so free. I know my classes last year were amazing, but I don't know what it is about this year, but I just feel it's going to be a really really good one :)
8:30am
Today was my first day of Junior Year.
I'm not gonna lie, I hate change. I despise my routine being altered or messed up, especially when I had such fun and amazing classes with all my friends like AICE General Paper or AP World History, but also I hate changing the fabulous teachers I had, like Mrs. Esposito, Mr. Williams, and Mr. "P Diddy" Combs (the last two being awesome just because of their personalities, not so much their teaching abilities. Mrs. Esposito on the other hand has definite BAMF status when it comes to being an English teacher.)
But I have to admit, it went over a LOT better than I expected. Let's do a play-by-play, shall we?
Period 1- French 2 with Madame Etienne.
This class probably felt the weirdest. I didn't know many people in there, and the room just had a strange vibe. But what makes it all worth while is I have that class with my best friend Lily :) I'm also extremely greatful that Mrs. Mazous is leaving on won't be our teacher, because I heard she is a complete bitch, and after witnessing her assisting the new teacher, I can definentley verify that she is.
Period 2- Vocal Ensamble with Ms. Passarello.
I love to sing, and this is the sole reason I stayed in this class. That, and I don't want to ditch Tatiana. I despise this teacher with every fiber of my being, but I can deal with her for two more years. As long as I get to sing. Also, it's really easy to talk in there, and somehow, Tatiana and I are going to end up Prez and Vice Prez if this senior chick doesn't show up, so i guess that's cool.
Period 3- Chemistry 1 Honors with Ms. Ahmed.
This class seems relatively easy because it's an honors class, and not to be conceited, but I can stick an honors class in my ear compared to the all the AP stuff I've done. Especially a class mainly about math, my easiest subject (besides writing, but I actually enjoy writing so that doesn't count.) The teacher is a young lady who I'd guess is about 23-24? She seems relatively sweet, I don't think she'll be a problem.
Period 4- AP English Composition with Mrs. Garafolo.
I've heard a LOT about this teacher, and she lived up to my expectations. She's about as close to having Mrs. Esposito again as I'm probably ever going to get. She has a unique sense of humor, which I find funny, she's very intelligent, and she's told us that the class is all about writing! Let me lean back in my chair and put up my feet, because this is going to be a breeze. The class also has a really good feel to it. There aren't too many people, I know the majority of them, and everyone was pretty talkative, but not in the annoying "regular class" kind of way, just in a general discussion with the teacher sort of way. It just feels right, which I'm happy about, because I was so worried I was going to hate my English class because of my amazing experiance last year.
Period 5- AP Psychology with Mr. Joynt.
Yep, that's right, his name is Mr. Joynt. And let me tell you something. He is the coolest teacher EVER. He's so funny, but also very smart. He recognizes we need to work, but is also extremely laid back. The class itself seems really cool, but it gives of the air of a regular class, not an AP class, and this kinda bothers me. I'm sure it'll die down soon though once some people switch out because they're too lazy to work.
Period 6- AP US History with Mr. Joynt (again).
I just know it, this is going to be my favorite class. I know pretty much everyone in it, I have so many good friends in there, and of course, Mr. Joynt teaches it. This class is going to be amazing, I can feel it.
So there's my analysis for the day. Not having a 7th hour is AMAZING! I can go visit Combs and Williams as I please, and then Liz and I can get outta there whenever we want. It feels so free. I know my classes last year were amazing, but I don't know what it is about this year, but I just feel it's going to be a really really good one :)
Sunday, August 9, 2009
you're hot and you're cold, you're yes and you're no...
do you know what bothers me more than most other things? (i'm not going to say "more than everything" because there are a few things i can think of that i hate more)
guys who just CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND.
one second, they're all over you, coming over to hang out, texting you 24/7, giving you all sorts of compliments. this leads you--at least for me anyway--to let your guard down, maybe open up a bit. you know, give the guy a chance.
then suddenly--BAM! they're being short when they talk to you, the cancel commitments they made with you, they won't return your texts, and they just aren't being the nice person you thought they were.
now, i'm sure most girls have dealt with this, and then just cast the guy aside. well, not me. i've been dealing with mr. hot 'n' cold for 2 going on 3 years now? and let me tell you, i am on my last nerve with this kid. we hadn't talked for a while, then started talking more recently. he seemed as though he had matured a bit and i thought to myself "you know what charlotte? just go for it. give him another chance." this being chance number 827, mind you.
things went really well for a while. he was keeping commitments, being pretty consistent with how he acted, and then what do you know it? i've found myself being cold-shouldered for the umpteenth time. why, you may ask? because he doesn't like my friends and believes i should pick him over them.
well, i've got a NEWS FLASH FOR YOU BRO!
here's the rank of things in my life:
1) Lily
2) Family
3) Camilla
4) Kylee
5) Emily, Nick, Brooke, etc.
6) My dog
7) Food
8) YOU.
so you can either suck it up and deal with it or take your little temperature-changing immature attitude and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.
guys who just CAN'T MAKE UP THEIR MIND.
one second, they're all over you, coming over to hang out, texting you 24/7, giving you all sorts of compliments. this leads you--at least for me anyway--to let your guard down, maybe open up a bit. you know, give the guy a chance.
then suddenly--BAM! they're being short when they talk to you, the cancel commitments they made with you, they won't return your texts, and they just aren't being the nice person you thought they were.
now, i'm sure most girls have dealt with this, and then just cast the guy aside. well, not me. i've been dealing with mr. hot 'n' cold for 2 going on 3 years now? and let me tell you, i am on my last nerve with this kid. we hadn't talked for a while, then started talking more recently. he seemed as though he had matured a bit and i thought to myself "you know what charlotte? just go for it. give him another chance." this being chance number 827, mind you.
things went really well for a while. he was keeping commitments, being pretty consistent with how he acted, and then what do you know it? i've found myself being cold-shouldered for the umpteenth time. why, you may ask? because he doesn't like my friends and believes i should pick him over them.
well, i've got a NEWS FLASH FOR YOU BRO!
here's the rank of things in my life:
1) Lily
2) Family
3) Camilla
4) Kylee
5) Emily, Nick, Brooke, etc.
6) My dog
7) Food
8) YOU.
so you can either suck it up and deal with it or take your little temperature-changing immature attitude and SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
i finally figured it out
as i'm becoming a junior this year, the pressure is on to figure out exactly what it is you're going to do with the rest of your life. where do you want to go to college? what are you going to be? basically, what is your ambition?
i've gone through many career choices and ideal lifestyles in my lifetime, ranging from being a doctor or lawyer in new york, or being a biochemist down here in florida or in the bahamas. i've wanted to go to the biggest colleges, harvard, princeton, stanford, all those ivy league schools. i convinced myself that being huge and successful and important with all the top names under my belt would make me satisfied, make me feel like i was living my life with a purpose. but after a while, i started realizing i didn't want any of that, much less the fact i had absolutely no idea what i actually did want. i honestly found myself considering if i even wanted to go to college at all. for the longest time now i've been so confused and scared about the future, not because i'd be moving on, but because i had NO idea what the hell i was going to move on to. everyone i know seemed to have a firm grasp on where they were going with their lives, and i was just this confused purposeless little girl.
but i think i've finally figured it out, and it took two very random events which you would never expect to be life changing. well, in my case, they were.
the first happened about a week or so ago. my mom had found a book i wrote when i was about 8 or 9. in this book, i wrote "all about me", so out of curiosity (and given my situation of not knowing what im going to do with my life) i read the "what i want to be when i grow up" page. on this page, i talked about how i want to be a writer because i love to make books and create stories. this made me think; i've always been good at writing, and over the years i've gotten even better. i'm pretty decent and creating fiction stories (but i have to say, lily takes the cake there) but what i'm best at is conveying my thoughts and opinions down on paper. i can speak my mind decently well, but when it comes to the written word, everything just flows so much better. apparently i've been like that since i was little, so this showed me i've always consistantly loved writing, unlike the other career choices i've been interested in, which usually fade in a few months.
the next event, which really kicked me over the edge, was one of those facebook "pick 5" things. it was called "your dream future." you had to pick 1 job, 1 city, 1 car, 1 husband, and 1 pet. i picked the things that i just loved, not that would necessarily make a successful future. i ended up picking a writer, los angeles, a volkswagen bus, daniel radcliffe, and a golden retriever. after looking at these selections, it hit me: this was my future! (not the daniel radcliffe part of course, but the rest of it paved the way to my final conclusion)
i had been kidding myself with the hot shot lawyer and the successful doctor from harvard. that's SO not me. i'm the most relaxed person ever, and i just want to have fun and live a chill life. i don't want to be responsible for someone living or getting sent to prison. i want to do something that people can enjoy, but most of all, that i can enjoy doing.
so here it is! my final general idea of my future :)
I'll go to any good college that will accept me and give me financial aid. it doesnt have to be a huge college with the greek life and parties everyone imagines, because that's not going to matter to me. i want to learn. after i graduate with a degree in journalism, i'm going to raise up the money to move to L.A., where i'll buy a cute little townhouse near the beach, so i can take my golden retriever Tucker for frequent runs. I'll live by myself (i'm not doing that 'move in with my boyfriend' shit. i'm living my OWN life) and work as a journalist for a newspaper, while working on my novel that i plan on getting published soon. Lily will fly in and stay in my spare bedroom during the sunny summers in L.A., and I'll fly to her and stay with her during the chilly winters in London. There's a possibility I'll meet a guy, but it won't be my main priority. I want to travel the world and have fun. Only when the absolute perfect guy comes along will I settle.
And you know what? I'll be happy with that. I may not have the most money or be the most successful person in the world, but I'll be happy, and i know i'll reach complete and total happiness when I drive off into the california sunset in my pale green volkswagen bus, with Tucker in the passenger seat, barking happily at my side.
i've gone through many career choices and ideal lifestyles in my lifetime, ranging from being a doctor or lawyer in new york, or being a biochemist down here in florida or in the bahamas. i've wanted to go to the biggest colleges, harvard, princeton, stanford, all those ivy league schools. i convinced myself that being huge and successful and important with all the top names under my belt would make me satisfied, make me feel like i was living my life with a purpose. but after a while, i started realizing i didn't want any of that, much less the fact i had absolutely no idea what i actually did want. i honestly found myself considering if i even wanted to go to college at all. for the longest time now i've been so confused and scared about the future, not because i'd be moving on, but because i had NO idea what the hell i was going to move on to. everyone i know seemed to have a firm grasp on where they were going with their lives, and i was just this confused purposeless little girl.
but i think i've finally figured it out, and it took two very random events which you would never expect to be life changing. well, in my case, they were.
the first happened about a week or so ago. my mom had found a book i wrote when i was about 8 or 9. in this book, i wrote "all about me", so out of curiosity (and given my situation of not knowing what im going to do with my life) i read the "what i want to be when i grow up" page. on this page, i talked about how i want to be a writer because i love to make books and create stories. this made me think; i've always been good at writing, and over the years i've gotten even better. i'm pretty decent and creating fiction stories (but i have to say, lily takes the cake there) but what i'm best at is conveying my thoughts and opinions down on paper. i can speak my mind decently well, but when it comes to the written word, everything just flows so much better. apparently i've been like that since i was little, so this showed me i've always consistantly loved writing, unlike the other career choices i've been interested in, which usually fade in a few months.
the next event, which really kicked me over the edge, was one of those facebook "pick 5" things. it was called "your dream future." you had to pick 1 job, 1 city, 1 car, 1 husband, and 1 pet. i picked the things that i just loved, not that would necessarily make a successful future. i ended up picking a writer, los angeles, a volkswagen bus, daniel radcliffe, and a golden retriever. after looking at these selections, it hit me: this was my future! (not the daniel radcliffe part of course, but the rest of it paved the way to my final conclusion)
i had been kidding myself with the hot shot lawyer and the successful doctor from harvard. that's SO not me. i'm the most relaxed person ever, and i just want to have fun and live a chill life. i don't want to be responsible for someone living or getting sent to prison. i want to do something that people can enjoy, but most of all, that i can enjoy doing.
so here it is! my final general idea of my future :)
I'll go to any good college that will accept me and give me financial aid. it doesnt have to be a huge college with the greek life and parties everyone imagines, because that's not going to matter to me. i want to learn. after i graduate with a degree in journalism, i'm going to raise up the money to move to L.A., where i'll buy a cute little townhouse near the beach, so i can take my golden retriever Tucker for frequent runs. I'll live by myself (i'm not doing that 'move in with my boyfriend' shit. i'm living my OWN life) and work as a journalist for a newspaper, while working on my novel that i plan on getting published soon. Lily will fly in and stay in my spare bedroom during the sunny summers in L.A., and I'll fly to her and stay with her during the chilly winters in London. There's a possibility I'll meet a guy, but it won't be my main priority. I want to travel the world and have fun. Only when the absolute perfect guy comes along will I settle.
And you know what? I'll be happy with that. I may not have the most money or be the most successful person in the world, but I'll be happy, and i know i'll reach complete and total happiness when I drive off into the california sunset in my pale green volkswagen bus, with Tucker in the passenger seat, barking happily at my side.
it's a post about nothing!
i've noticed i haven't blogged in a while, so here it goes.
uhh..what should i talk about?
i really have nothing to say, at least nothing that would be of the interest to anyone reading this.
maybe i could just start rambling and something will happen?
well, once upon a time--- no, no, that won't work..
a long time ago in a galaxy far, far-- wait, someone already did that.
HI! I'm Jory Caron and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to-- waaaait, this isn't working.
what do you write about when you have nothing to say? and when i mean "nothing to say" i mean no concrete idea that could generate thought. i have plenty of things to literally SAY. here's a few:
the ice in my ice coffee made it watery and gross. my neck hurts. the house is too quite. i should do something more interesting. 21 days until my birthday in disneyworld. lily comes home on sunday. brooke's coming over later. the clashing colors of my sister's birthday decorations irk me. i like to color. i wonder if pineapples float? i just found a tampon under the table (true story). my printer is more tempermental than a pregnant lady without a mcflurry.
see? i have stuff to say, but no where to go with it. i mean, i guess i could possibly ramble on (oh snap, led zeppelin reference ftw) about how nobody likes it when ice waters down their delicious drink because you simply just want to take your time drinking it and aren't fast enough for the ice to room temperature ratio (did that make sense? your guess is as good as mine). but really, who would that interest? it doesn't interest me, i bored myself to figurative tears just writing that.
i seems as though unless i have a prompt in front of me or a bone to pick with someone or something, i really can't come up with anything. sort of a writer's no purpose block if you will.
wait a second, there seems to be quite a bit of writing up here. it seems that in my haste to complain about how even my superior writing skills can't generate something to talk about, i ended up talking about how sometimes you just can't find anything to talk about...
man, i'm good.
uhh..what should i talk about?
i really have nothing to say, at least nothing that would be of the interest to anyone reading this.
maybe i could just start rambling and something will happen?
well, once upon a time--- no, no, that won't work..
a long time ago in a galaxy far, far-- wait, someone already did that.
HI! I'm Jory Caron and welcome to "Is it a Good Idea to-- waaaait, this isn't working.
what do you write about when you have nothing to say? and when i mean "nothing to say" i mean no concrete idea that could generate thought. i have plenty of things to literally SAY. here's a few:
the ice in my ice coffee made it watery and gross. my neck hurts. the house is too quite. i should do something more interesting. 21 days until my birthday in disneyworld. lily comes home on sunday. brooke's coming over later. the clashing colors of my sister's birthday decorations irk me. i like to color. i wonder if pineapples float? i just found a tampon under the table (true story). my printer is more tempermental than a pregnant lady without a mcflurry.
see? i have stuff to say, but no where to go with it. i mean, i guess i could possibly ramble on (oh snap, led zeppelin reference ftw) about how nobody likes it when ice waters down their delicious drink because you simply just want to take your time drinking it and aren't fast enough for the ice to room temperature ratio (did that make sense? your guess is as good as mine). but really, who would that interest? it doesn't interest me, i bored myself to figurative tears just writing that.
i seems as though unless i have a prompt in front of me or a bone to pick with someone or something, i really can't come up with anything. sort of a writer's no purpose block if you will.
wait a second, there seems to be quite a bit of writing up here. it seems that in my haste to complain about how even my superior writing skills can't generate something to talk about, i ended up talking about how sometimes you just can't find anything to talk about...
man, i'm good.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Charlotte and Lily's List of Must-Do's in Disneyworld
so lily and i are going to disneyworld for my 16th birthday. we're getting our own room and everything and we're free to do pretty much anything we want. so, we made a list. a list of what we must do at disney because you normally can't do this stuff when you're just with family.
1) Take a bunch of jumping-on-the-bed pictures in our hotel room.
2) Walk around the hotel taking pictures with the giant statues.
3) Go to Magic Kingdom at night and see the light up parade and fireworks.
4) Stay in Magic Kingdom until it closes and we literally can't get on any rides anymore.
5) Take the Monorail somewhere/
6) Take a video while riding Everest.
7) Ride all the kiddy rides with great enthusiasm.
8) Go on the carousel in Magic Kingdom.
9) Get up really early and go to a park before it opens (preferably Magic Kingdom)
10) Walk through all the countries in Epcot and take a picture in each one.
11) Go to the hotel cafeteria really late in our PJ's and get dessert.
12) Get to the front of the line because it's my birthday.
13) Get a picture with Mickey.
14) Sit front row on Soarin'
15) Buy a picture from either Everest or Rockin' Roller Coaster.
16) Take pictures in front of all the Disney Landmarks (Castle, Golfball, Tree, Hat)
17) When asking people to take a picture of the two of us, pretend we're from England.
18) Sing the It's A Small World song completely wrong while on the ride.
19) Sneak blue slushies and food onto Haunted Mansion.
1) Take a bunch of jumping-on-the-bed pictures in our hotel room.
2) Walk around the hotel taking pictures with the giant statues.
3) Go to Magic Kingdom at night and see the light up parade and fireworks.
4) Stay in Magic Kingdom until it closes and we literally can't get on any rides anymore.
5) Take the Monorail somewhere/
6) Take a video while riding Everest.
7) Ride all the kiddy rides with great enthusiasm.
8) Go on the carousel in Magic Kingdom.
9) Get up really early and go to a park before it opens (preferably Magic Kingdom)
10) Walk through all the countries in Epcot and take a picture in each one.
11) Go to the hotel cafeteria really late in our PJ's and get dessert.
12) Get to the front of the line because it's my birthday.
13) Get a picture with Mickey.
14) Sit front row on Soarin'
15) Buy a picture from either Everest or Rockin' Roller Coaster.
16) Take pictures in front of all the Disney Landmarks (Castle, Golfball, Tree, Hat)
17) When asking people to take a picture of the two of us, pretend we're from England.
18) Sing the It's A Small World song completely wrong while on the ride.
19) Sneak blue slushies and food onto Haunted Mansion.
Friday, July 31, 2009
a bitter pill to swallow
i have a confession to make. for all of my life, up until about 2:30am last night, I, Charlotte, could not swallow pills. "how absurd!" you must be thinking. "a 15 year old girl who can't swallow a teeny little pill? now that's just silly."
well, it was the truth.
now, before you go thinking i have some sort of disorder that i'm going to rant about that won't allow me to swallow pills, allow me to correct you. it's not that i physically CAN'T swallow the pills, it's that i mentally won't do it. you've heard you parents or friends talk about that "mind over matter" issue that nobody ever listens to, at least i know i don't. well, that's really all it was. i psyched myself out to believe "im trying to swallow something that i haven't chewed, i'm going to choke, and I WILL DIE." my mind is a very powerful object, and when i lead myself to believe something, you best believe i will cling to that with all my might until i can convince myself otherwise. another example of this is i could never ride splash mountain in disneyworld because i had convinced myself it would be me plunging to my death and completely irrational to ride such a thing. with this mind set, when i tried to get on it once last year, i had a panic attack and nearly fainted. yeahh, i get pretty intense. but then once i told myself "hey, this is stupid, just get on the little kiddy ride" i was fine and i realized that splash mountain was indeed NOT a plunge to my death.
but anyway, back to pills.
so the other day i went to the dentist to get a filling done. you know how when they do that stuff, they have to encase it with a glue of some sort to keep it safe or whatever? well, my dentist obviously wanted to be SUPER safe so she put approximately 597 layers of glue on my tooth, give or take a few. so, as you may imagine, this made that particular tooth a lot larger than the rest. so what happened was, when i'd bit down, my teeth would be uneven because the large tooth touched my top teeth on the right side before my teeth on the left side could touch together. this made my jaw crooked and cause my great pain. but wait, there's more!
because of the somewhat ceramic encasing of my tooth, when it hit against other teeth when i chewed food or simply open and closed my mouth, it caused my upper teeth extraordinary pain, which gave me an incredibley horrible headache.
so here i am, with a sore crooked jaw, hurting teeth, and a sharp headache that just won't go away. what would be anyone's solution? swallow a few tylenol, of course. and here's where the problem was.
so first i tried to swallow these tiny tylenol with the old fashion drinking the water method. didn't work, i swallowed all the water, the pill got stuck, i panicked and spit it back up.
Pill Wasted Count: 1
then my mom had the idea to put it in ice cream, because you don't really chew that, you just swallowed it. this seemed like a fool proof plan! so, i tried the ice cream, and what happened? my tounge seperated the pill from the ice cream, swallowed the ice cream, the pill got stuck, i panicked, spit it back up.
Pill Wasted Count: 2
at this point i was extremely disheartened. i felt like an idiot. everyone can do this, why can't i? my dad can swallow horse pills with no water, how come i can't swallow a thin round pill the size of a tic tac?
i went to my room for a while and tried to sleep. it was around 2 am i realized i couldnt sleep with this pain. after hours of research on tips to swallow pills, i set out to the kitchen to grab 4 tylenols, a bottle of water, and some crackers. i was going to swallow one of these pills or i wasn't sleeping.
first i tried to chew up a cracker, then right before i was going to swallow, put the pill in and down the hatch. i figured this would trick my brain into thinking i was just swallowing some food i chewed, not a pill. so what happend? my tounge felt the pill, i panicked, couldn't swallow anything, and spat everything out.
Pill Wasted Count: 3
then i tried putting it into the bottle of water and just chugging that until the pill went down with the water. this backfired when it sank to the bottom and dissolved.
Pill Wasted Count: 4
next i tried the old fashion stick it wayyy down you throat and then just drink. my gag reflex kicked in and up came the water and the soggy pill.
Pill Wasted Count: 5
finally, i was getting aggravated. what the hell was my problem? i went to the mirror and looked down my throat. there was more than enough room for this puny pill. why couldn't i do it? then i realized: it's because i can feel it. when i know the pill is there, i freak. is there a way for me NOT to be able to feel it? that's when i got the idea...
i sipped some water to get my mouth wet, and then took a fair sized gulp over water, enough so my mouth was pretty full. then, with my lips pressed together tightly, i stuck the pill in and paused a minute. it seemed to be floating in the water in my mouth because it didn't feel like there was a pill in my mouth at all. i then pretended i just needed to swallow this normal gulp of water, and by the time i realized there was a pill in my mouth, i could feel the little circle sliding down my throat. I DID IT! i swallowed the pill and it didn't even hurt.
now i'm not afraid to anymore, and i decided to write about it here, because as silly as it is, i'm extremely proud of myself :)
well, it was the truth.
now, before you go thinking i have some sort of disorder that i'm going to rant about that won't allow me to swallow pills, allow me to correct you. it's not that i physically CAN'T swallow the pills, it's that i mentally won't do it. you've heard you parents or friends talk about that "mind over matter" issue that nobody ever listens to, at least i know i don't. well, that's really all it was. i psyched myself out to believe "im trying to swallow something that i haven't chewed, i'm going to choke, and I WILL DIE." my mind is a very powerful object, and when i lead myself to believe something, you best believe i will cling to that with all my might until i can convince myself otherwise. another example of this is i could never ride splash mountain in disneyworld because i had convinced myself it would be me plunging to my death and completely irrational to ride such a thing. with this mind set, when i tried to get on it once last year, i had a panic attack and nearly fainted. yeahh, i get pretty intense. but then once i told myself "hey, this is stupid, just get on the little kiddy ride" i was fine and i realized that splash mountain was indeed NOT a plunge to my death.
but anyway, back to pills.
so the other day i went to the dentist to get a filling done. you know how when they do that stuff, they have to encase it with a glue of some sort to keep it safe or whatever? well, my dentist obviously wanted to be SUPER safe so she put approximately 597 layers of glue on my tooth, give or take a few. so, as you may imagine, this made that particular tooth a lot larger than the rest. so what happened was, when i'd bit down, my teeth would be uneven because the large tooth touched my top teeth on the right side before my teeth on the left side could touch together. this made my jaw crooked and cause my great pain. but wait, there's more!
because of the somewhat ceramic encasing of my tooth, when it hit against other teeth when i chewed food or simply open and closed my mouth, it caused my upper teeth extraordinary pain, which gave me an incredibley horrible headache.
so here i am, with a sore crooked jaw, hurting teeth, and a sharp headache that just won't go away. what would be anyone's solution? swallow a few tylenol, of course. and here's where the problem was.
so first i tried to swallow these tiny tylenol with the old fashion drinking the water method. didn't work, i swallowed all the water, the pill got stuck, i panicked and spit it back up.
Pill Wasted Count: 1
then my mom had the idea to put it in ice cream, because you don't really chew that, you just swallowed it. this seemed like a fool proof plan! so, i tried the ice cream, and what happened? my tounge seperated the pill from the ice cream, swallowed the ice cream, the pill got stuck, i panicked, spit it back up.
Pill Wasted Count: 2
at this point i was extremely disheartened. i felt like an idiot. everyone can do this, why can't i? my dad can swallow horse pills with no water, how come i can't swallow a thin round pill the size of a tic tac?
i went to my room for a while and tried to sleep. it was around 2 am i realized i couldnt sleep with this pain. after hours of research on tips to swallow pills, i set out to the kitchen to grab 4 tylenols, a bottle of water, and some crackers. i was going to swallow one of these pills or i wasn't sleeping.
first i tried to chew up a cracker, then right before i was going to swallow, put the pill in and down the hatch. i figured this would trick my brain into thinking i was just swallowing some food i chewed, not a pill. so what happend? my tounge felt the pill, i panicked, couldn't swallow anything, and spat everything out.
Pill Wasted Count: 3
then i tried putting it into the bottle of water and just chugging that until the pill went down with the water. this backfired when it sank to the bottom and dissolved.
Pill Wasted Count: 4
next i tried the old fashion stick it wayyy down you throat and then just drink. my gag reflex kicked in and up came the water and the soggy pill.
Pill Wasted Count: 5
finally, i was getting aggravated. what the hell was my problem? i went to the mirror and looked down my throat. there was more than enough room for this puny pill. why couldn't i do it? then i realized: it's because i can feel it. when i know the pill is there, i freak. is there a way for me NOT to be able to feel it? that's when i got the idea...
i sipped some water to get my mouth wet, and then took a fair sized gulp over water, enough so my mouth was pretty full. then, with my lips pressed together tightly, i stuck the pill in and paused a minute. it seemed to be floating in the water in my mouth because it didn't feel like there was a pill in my mouth at all. i then pretended i just needed to swallow this normal gulp of water, and by the time i realized there was a pill in my mouth, i could feel the little circle sliding down my throat. I DID IT! i swallowed the pill and it didn't even hurt.
now i'm not afraid to anymore, and i decided to write about it here, because as silly as it is, i'm extremely proud of myself :)
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
nobody's perfect
rumors are an interesting thing. even more so when they turn out to be true. the question on everyone's mind is: "who's side do you take?". i encountered this question in the past few days. at first i thought i knew, but it turns out i didn't. let's take the example from last post, which has quite a lot to do with the situation. the player and the former best friend. after hearing one side of the story, the generic one, you might think you know who you side with. the truth is, you don't until you've heard both, and i've come to a conclusion; side's can't be taken. everyone in a situation like this did something wrong, and also had something wrong done to them. nobody is perfect and makes the right decisions all the time, and when you judge someone for a making a wrong decision, you're being the biggest hypocrite ever. why should you torment one person because she made a stupid choice? for all you know, you could be the one being tormented next week about a dumb choice you made. what goes around comes around, and if you can't forgive and forget today, then you can't expect forgivness and forgetfulness when your time comes. and the time will come. for everyone.
Monday, July 27, 2009
what's underneath
it's funny how you can view a person to be someone who they completely aren't. it's strange that we can put up a front for people to percieve us one way, when really we're a different way entirely. it's odd how you can spend years getting to know a person, sharing supposedly everything, and yet you realize that you may not know them any better than a person walking down the street. the girl you thought was your quite and kind best friend could actually be a sinister and menacing enemy, one who you thought would do anything for you but who is really plotting to stab you or anyone else in the back at first chance. the guy who you thought was a player with no real compassion towards anyone indeed turned out to be the caring and truthful one who is just as voulnerable as any other. then there's the girl who blocks her emotions out and acts like she doesn't care about what anyone thinks or says, only because she's been shown at home that if you let someone in too close, all they do is hurt you. she acts tough because she's scared, but no one on the outside, without any interest to dig deeper, would ever realize it. the truth of the matter is, people only allow you to see what they want to portray themselves as. no matter how close you think you are with someone, there's always a secret person--the real person--underneath that even the closest of friends or relatives don't know about. everyone's entitled to a secret, including these hidden identities. i guess what it comes down to is whether or not your true self is good or bad, because that's all people will see when worse comes to worse, and not even the most talented actress will be able to hide it.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
an obnoxious fluctuation of personalities
there's not a day that goes by that i do not secretly question myself if my parents are bipolar. well, actually just my mother, i think my father has either split personalities, anger managment problems, or a combination of the two. it just puzzles me how two human beings can be so...well, for lack of a better term, obnoxious.
if you've kept up-to-date on my blog until now, you'll know that my parents and i have nothing near a pleasent relationship. but don't think they're bad parents, because they are absolutely loving, caring, and understanding...to my sister. oh yes, in the twisted reality that is my parents mindset, darling chelsea can do no wrong, and even when she doesn, it's never her fault, but mine. if you are an older sibling reading this you will know EXACTLY where i am coming from, especially when the sibling is in the toddler/small child stage. come on, we all know that infinite saying which older brothers and sisters all across the globe grind their teeth to hearing: "but he/she doesn't know any better." i think we can all agree that these children do indeed know better, perhaps even better than our parents, because not only can they pull of this young and innocent demeanor, but they use it to their advantage and to the demise of the older sibling. my sister in fact has gotten so good at it, she doesn't even have to do anything anymore. she's won the automatic favoritism, a favoritism which i believe is rightfully mine.
i'll never forget what one of my classmates in my AICE Marine Science class said one day in a classroom discussion: "Any older child who is successful academically without having to be pushed it automatically favorited." to my surprise, everyone else agreed. this got me to thinking, "hey, she's right. i'm successful academically, where the hell is my praise?"
i've gotten close to straight A's all through middle and high school. i'm very near to becoming in the top 5 percentile of my soon-to-be junior class. i take all AP classes wherever and whenever possible. i'm in my school's national honor society. i passed on of the most difficult AP classes in high school with the highest grade you can achieve. i know this sounds like a lot of bragging, but i'm just trying to make my point. not once have i been pushed by my parents to study or do my homework or anything of that sort. i deprive myself of sleep and social time because i strive for academic acheivement. i'm obsessed with it. i NEED those grades. i feel stupid and useless if i don't. so why is it that my 8 year old sister who hates to read, needs to be forced to do her homework, and brings home low marks comes out on top next to her constantly reading for fun, homework perfecting, grade A sister? well, your guess is as good as mine ladies and gentlemen, because i for one have not the slightest inkling.
but let's get back to what this is about: my parents and their atrocious personalities. what irks me is not that they are constantly discouraging me or yelling at me or ignoring me because i've "done something wrong" (which in my parents mind is shutting the door to a room where there isn't a lot of air circulation), but the way they switch from these angered, spiteful personalities, to these "oh we're all friends again" personalities. honestly, with my parents it's like being in high school filled with a room of a bunch of bitchy girls who all have a problem with you. as soon as you leave the room, they discuss just what it is is wrong with you and how annoying it is. normally i wouldn't care, but they say it just loud enough so i can hear every word with ringing clarity. i'm sure you could imagine that if every time you walked into your room, you could heard two people in another room discussing your laziness, selfishness, and appalling attitude, you'd get kinda tired of it, am i right?
but here's where i draw the line; after hearing all of these lovely synonyms of selfish and lazy used to describe myself, i walk back through the living room to get to the kitchen, and i hear my mother say "hey char! wanna go to the library with me?" wait wait wait, time out on the field-- what happened to selfish, lazy, disrespectful, and stupid? for a while i used to think "maybe they don't know i can hear them", but even they aren't that thick. it's as if they think "well now we got all those incredibley hurtful insults out of the way, let's pretend like we actually like her!" "brilliant idea honey! now she DEFINENTLEY can't call the social worker and report verbal abuse! ah ha ha!" this is what makes me lose my mind. either be nice to me like you're supposed to, or talk amongst yourselves and leave me alone. one thing i can't stand is fake people, and my dear mum and dad are about as plastic as they come.
but what compelled me to write this you may ask? well, after bitching me out at the dining room table while my demonic sister just sat and smirked, my mother worked up the nerve to kindly ask me to pick up all the dishes for her. i then decided to quickly let out all my anger here before i was compelled to tell her exactly where she could stick those dishes.
if you've kept up-to-date on my blog until now, you'll know that my parents and i have nothing near a pleasent relationship. but don't think they're bad parents, because they are absolutely loving, caring, and understanding...to my sister. oh yes, in the twisted reality that is my parents mindset, darling chelsea can do no wrong, and even when she doesn, it's never her fault, but mine. if you are an older sibling reading this you will know EXACTLY where i am coming from, especially when the sibling is in the toddler/small child stage. come on, we all know that infinite saying which older brothers and sisters all across the globe grind their teeth to hearing: "but he/she doesn't know any better." i think we can all agree that these children do indeed know better, perhaps even better than our parents, because not only can they pull of this young and innocent demeanor, but they use it to their advantage and to the demise of the older sibling. my sister in fact has gotten so good at it, she doesn't even have to do anything anymore. she's won the automatic favoritism, a favoritism which i believe is rightfully mine.
i'll never forget what one of my classmates in my AICE Marine Science class said one day in a classroom discussion: "Any older child who is successful academically without having to be pushed it automatically favorited." to my surprise, everyone else agreed. this got me to thinking, "hey, she's right. i'm successful academically, where the hell is my praise?"
i've gotten close to straight A's all through middle and high school. i'm very near to becoming in the top 5 percentile of my soon-to-be junior class. i take all AP classes wherever and whenever possible. i'm in my school's national honor society. i passed on of the most difficult AP classes in high school with the highest grade you can achieve. i know this sounds like a lot of bragging, but i'm just trying to make my point. not once have i been pushed by my parents to study or do my homework or anything of that sort. i deprive myself of sleep and social time because i strive for academic acheivement. i'm obsessed with it. i NEED those grades. i feel stupid and useless if i don't. so why is it that my 8 year old sister who hates to read, needs to be forced to do her homework, and brings home low marks comes out on top next to her constantly reading for fun, homework perfecting, grade A sister? well, your guess is as good as mine ladies and gentlemen, because i for one have not the slightest inkling.
but let's get back to what this is about: my parents and their atrocious personalities. what irks me is not that they are constantly discouraging me or yelling at me or ignoring me because i've "done something wrong" (which in my parents mind is shutting the door to a room where there isn't a lot of air circulation), but the way they switch from these angered, spiteful personalities, to these "oh we're all friends again" personalities. honestly, with my parents it's like being in high school filled with a room of a bunch of bitchy girls who all have a problem with you. as soon as you leave the room, they discuss just what it is is wrong with you and how annoying it is. normally i wouldn't care, but they say it just loud enough so i can hear every word with ringing clarity. i'm sure you could imagine that if every time you walked into your room, you could heard two people in another room discussing your laziness, selfishness, and appalling attitude, you'd get kinda tired of it, am i right?
but here's where i draw the line; after hearing all of these lovely synonyms of selfish and lazy used to describe myself, i walk back through the living room to get to the kitchen, and i hear my mother say "hey char! wanna go to the library with me?" wait wait wait, time out on the field-- what happened to selfish, lazy, disrespectful, and stupid? for a while i used to think "maybe they don't know i can hear them", but even they aren't that thick. it's as if they think "well now we got all those incredibley hurtful insults out of the way, let's pretend like we actually like her!" "brilliant idea honey! now she DEFINENTLEY can't call the social worker and report verbal abuse! ah ha ha!" this is what makes me lose my mind. either be nice to me like you're supposed to, or talk amongst yourselves and leave me alone. one thing i can't stand is fake people, and my dear mum and dad are about as plastic as they come.
but what compelled me to write this you may ask? well, after bitching me out at the dining room table while my demonic sister just sat and smirked, my mother worked up the nerve to kindly ask me to pick up all the dishes for her. i then decided to quickly let out all my anger here before i was compelled to tell her exactly where she could stick those dishes.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The "Charlotte Is Not Picking Up Her Phone" Song
Sang to the tune of Thunder by Boys Like Girls
created by my good friend Lily
Charlotte is not picking up
I really wish she would because I have to ask her a question
I do (I do, I do)
Charlotte should pick up the phone
It is really nice out and I would like to know
Iffff sheeeeeee
Wants to ride bikes to my house so that we can go ride around boca town la la...yeah yeah yeah yeah
She's gotta find a way to
Maybe there's a way tooooooooo
CHAAAAAAAAARRRLOTTTTEEEE! is not picking up her phone
I really wanna talk to youuuu
It's not fair I should talk to your voice machine
CHAAAAAAAAAARRRLOTTTTTEEE! we should really ride bikes today
Have you been outside, it's really nice out
So Charlotte you should pick up your phoooonee.
created by my good friend Lily
Charlotte is not picking up
I really wish she would because I have to ask her a question
I do (I do, I do)
Charlotte should pick up the phone
It is really nice out and I would like to know
Iffff sheeeeeee
Wants to ride bikes to my house so that we can go ride around boca town la la...yeah yeah yeah yeah
She's gotta find a way to
Maybe there's a way tooooooooo
CHAAAAAAAAARRRLOTTTTEEEE! is not picking up her phone
I really wanna talk to youuuu
It's not fair I should talk to your voice machine
CHAAAAAAAAAARRRLOTTTTTEEE! we should really ride bikes today
Have you been outside, it's really nice out
So Charlotte you should pick up your phoooonee.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
makeupz
so lately i've been addicted to doing a lot of different makeup styles, but only for my eyes. if i did my whole face, it would take like an hour. besides, that's the only thing i ever put make up on anyway. so today i was bored and it was raining, so i did a bunch of different styles with the makeup that i currently have.
gold shadow, blue shadow, liquid black liner, black mascara. here's the cleopatra look, because i just recently found some black liquid liner, so i thought "hey, why not" ^^^
pale yellow, blue, pale green, and pale pink shadow, black mascara, navy liner. i think i look like a butterfly. ^^^
pale yellow and pale pink shadow, pale pink liquid liner. i wanted to be not quite as obnoxious with my color usage, so this is what i came up it. because i was trying to make it possible to see the pale pink liner i had glossed my lower lashes with, i ended up looking stoned. you win some you lose some. ^^^
pale green eye shadow, purple liner, brown mascara. one of my personal favorites. it went with my whole face better than the others...if that sounds weird. ^^^
dark grey shadow, black liquid liner, black mascara. the smokey eye. it had to be done. ^^^
sooo if i do anything else remotely cool with my eyes, i'll post them on this blog below here:)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
best night of my summer
i finally got to see the new harry potter movie, and my verdict (for anyone who cares) is that it was the best one yet. the book is my favorite book, and i think they did it brilliantly. it had just the right balance of seriousness and funny moments. the best was when harry took the felix felicis potion. it was like he was high, it was absolutely hysterical. daniel radcliffe is the most adorable thing ever. i also loved the romance between ron and hermione, it was so cute, i can't wait to see that blossom in the next two movies. i cried at the end, which i knew i would, but it was a good sort of cry. i really loved how they ended it too, so subtley. and ginny and harry never really "got together" so they couldn't break up either, which i liked because they're so cute together :)
there's some pics of us in the theater on the night of the midnight premiere. we had to sit all the way at the front, but it was worth it. i can't WAIT to go see it again. hopefully soon!!
there's some pics of us in the theater on the night of the midnight premiere. we had to sit all the way at the front, but it was worth it. i can't WAIT to go see it again. hopefully soon!!Tuesday, July 14, 2009
today's the day
this is it. the day i've been waiting for since the last release into theaters. today is the day i get to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in theaters at midnight.
the day has been going pretty rocky so far, what with my lovely parents and all their glory, who i'm positive seek out days like these just to be complete and total assholes. they seem to have a pattern of taking days which are meant to be some of my happiest and turn them in to days that make me want to crawl into my room and sleep away, hoping it never happened.
a perfect example of this is the day i got my braces off a week before the start of 8th grade. i'd had my brace since the beginning of 4th grade and it was finally time for them to come off. after the whole procedure was said and done, i stepped in front of that mirror and smiled to see my mouth metal-free for the first time since i was about 5. it was perhaps one of the happiest moments of my life. but what do dear mum and dad do? they take the time to discuss how the braces probably permanentley tarnished the color of my teeth, but it's okay because "the kids at school probably won't notice...or if they do, they won't bug you about it for long." thanks daddy! thanks mommy! you've officially turned this experiance from a joyful one to one i spent crying in the bathroom, scrubbing mercilessly at my new teeth because i thought i was going to get ruthlessly made fun of! how fabulous.
so i think you've got the general idea of what kind of parents i have, right? the kind that can never be happy for you, because there was always something MORE that you could have done that you didn't do. but i woke up this morning determined, they are NOT going to ruin this day for me. it has certainly been a tough goal to accomplish. i don't know if they realize how happy today has made me, but they are really bringing out the big guns: college and the future. mainly about how i probably won't end going to it and how i'm not going to have much of one. why this random outburst you ask? because i wouldn't go with my mother to an old people's home. now i know what you're thinking, "charlotte, you must be joking, there must have been SOMETHING else you did." oh no, dear readers, i am being more honest with you then i have been with anyone else.
perhaps i should explain?
well this morning i woke up with a smile on my face because of what is going to happen tonight. no more then 2 seconds of being in my mother's sight and she says "get dressed charlotte, we're going to mae volen (the old people place)." "i really don't want to," i replied. "i just woke up." she pretends she didn't hear that (she likes to do that) and continues on with her business. so i'm laying on the couch reading a book, and about 20 minutes later she's standing in front of me impatiently. "come on get dressed." "no, i told you i don't want to go." before i knew what was even happening, the book gets snatched out of my hand and i hear a variety of sentences using the words disgusting, lazy, and shocking all very frequently. so, as you'd imagine, my initial reaction was somewhere along the lines of: WTF? then my dad gets home, which is never good, no matter what's going on. me and my father don't really have the most civil of relationships. but i'm pretty used to his yelling rants, and he's pretty much 95% of the time always mad at me, so at this point i'm pretty indifferent to the situation. but here's where it gets out of control: my mom starts to explain to him what happened, and she starts CRYING. because apparently, the fact that i don't want to accompany her to mae volen is worth hysterically CRYING over. so now i'm thinking either A) my mother is bipolar or B) she is seriously out to get me and is a verrrry good actress. from previous experiance with my mom, i'm gonna go with B. although there is always the possibility of A now and again.
so i start getting lectured about how horrible of a person i am, blah blah blah, i can't count how many times i've gotten that one from him. but then he goes into the forbidden territory: he says "you'll amount to nothing." now, when you're as passionate about school and your education as much as i am, that REALLY pisses you off. i know damn well i'll amount to more then him, so who is he telling me what i will and will not do in the future? this sort of thing from my dad usually ruins my entire day, but then before i open my mouth to quite rudely retort to him, i had an epiphany; this is what he wants. he is trying to ruin this day for me, he wants me to get myself riled up and upset for the rest of the day. well no sir, that is not going to happen!
so to my ignorant father's shock, i just get up calmly and leave. i waited in my room until he left for work, and now everything is okay. tonight i am going to see a brand new movie based on my favorite book ever. how can i be upset today? the answer is i can't, and no amount of my dimwitted parents rambling about me and my life is going to change that.
the day has been going pretty rocky so far, what with my lovely parents and all their glory, who i'm positive seek out days like these just to be complete and total assholes. they seem to have a pattern of taking days which are meant to be some of my happiest and turn them in to days that make me want to crawl into my room and sleep away, hoping it never happened.
a perfect example of this is the day i got my braces off a week before the start of 8th grade. i'd had my brace since the beginning of 4th grade and it was finally time for them to come off. after the whole procedure was said and done, i stepped in front of that mirror and smiled to see my mouth metal-free for the first time since i was about 5. it was perhaps one of the happiest moments of my life. but what do dear mum and dad do? they take the time to discuss how the braces probably permanentley tarnished the color of my teeth, but it's okay because "the kids at school probably won't notice...or if they do, they won't bug you about it for long." thanks daddy! thanks mommy! you've officially turned this experiance from a joyful one to one i spent crying in the bathroom, scrubbing mercilessly at my new teeth because i thought i was going to get ruthlessly made fun of! how fabulous.
so i think you've got the general idea of what kind of parents i have, right? the kind that can never be happy for you, because there was always something MORE that you could have done that you didn't do. but i woke up this morning determined, they are NOT going to ruin this day for me. it has certainly been a tough goal to accomplish. i don't know if they realize how happy today has made me, but they are really bringing out the big guns: college and the future. mainly about how i probably won't end going to it and how i'm not going to have much of one. why this random outburst you ask? because i wouldn't go with my mother to an old people's home. now i know what you're thinking, "charlotte, you must be joking, there must have been SOMETHING else you did." oh no, dear readers, i am being more honest with you then i have been with anyone else.
perhaps i should explain?
well this morning i woke up with a smile on my face because of what is going to happen tonight. no more then 2 seconds of being in my mother's sight and she says "get dressed charlotte, we're going to mae volen (the old people place)." "i really don't want to," i replied. "i just woke up." she pretends she didn't hear that (she likes to do that) and continues on with her business. so i'm laying on the couch reading a book, and about 20 minutes later she's standing in front of me impatiently. "come on get dressed." "no, i told you i don't want to go." before i knew what was even happening, the book gets snatched out of my hand and i hear a variety of sentences using the words disgusting, lazy, and shocking all very frequently. so, as you'd imagine, my initial reaction was somewhere along the lines of: WTF? then my dad gets home, which is never good, no matter what's going on. me and my father don't really have the most civil of relationships. but i'm pretty used to his yelling rants, and he's pretty much 95% of the time always mad at me, so at this point i'm pretty indifferent to the situation. but here's where it gets out of control: my mom starts to explain to him what happened, and she starts CRYING. because apparently, the fact that i don't want to accompany her to mae volen is worth hysterically CRYING over. so now i'm thinking either A) my mother is bipolar or B) she is seriously out to get me and is a verrrry good actress. from previous experiance with my mom, i'm gonna go with B. although there is always the possibility of A now and again.
so i start getting lectured about how horrible of a person i am, blah blah blah, i can't count how many times i've gotten that one from him. but then he goes into the forbidden territory: he says "you'll amount to nothing." now, when you're as passionate about school and your education as much as i am, that REALLY pisses you off. i know damn well i'll amount to more then him, so who is he telling me what i will and will not do in the future? this sort of thing from my dad usually ruins my entire day, but then before i open my mouth to quite rudely retort to him, i had an epiphany; this is what he wants. he is trying to ruin this day for me, he wants me to get myself riled up and upset for the rest of the day. well no sir, that is not going to happen!
so to my ignorant father's shock, i just get up calmly and leave. i waited in my room until he left for work, and now everything is okay. tonight i am going to see a brand new movie based on my favorite book ever. how can i be upset today? the answer is i can't, and no amount of my dimwitted parents rambling about me and my life is going to change that.
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